transmedia: sally kane, keynote speaker for oregon rural action

on october 19, oregon rural action had their benefit dinner, elections, games and prizes, silent auction, beer, wine and did i mention the dinner was all locally sourced?

the dinner part of the evening concluded with sally kane from paonia, colorado (near grand junction) and her work with community media as used to cover issues relevant to and by the community.  sally has grown up with KVNF, a radio station her mother founded in 1979, where sally began as a dj when she was 16-years-old.  the station started as 10 watts in a shed, to now having two transmitters and a signal that can stretch across entire states.  they have a very active role in representing a community that the mainstream media bypasses.  sally and her daughter both having been djs made it no foreign concept for KVNF to use kids as the next-in-line broadcasters in their video on climate change.

KVNF put together a video on transforming media, an incubator project for the association of independents in radio (AIR) producing transmedia storytelling.  KVNF’s project called iseechange (on climate change) is featured on “localore,” a ten member nationwide circuit of radio and tv stations hosted by AIR working with interactive media producers zeega to “sink new taproots into local communities … laying the ground for more inclusive 21^st century public media.” 

kane also screened the AIR localore video, available on the localore website as well, which featured looks at all of the ten member projects:

iseechange ::  90.9 KVNF, paonia, colorado

black gold boom :: on the oil rush of north dakota, in collaboration with zeega

curious city :: crowd sourced questions and issues :: 91.5 KBEZ, chicago

sonic trace :: latin american immigrant roots :: 89.9 KCRW, los angeles

hear here :: alternative to “bleed and lead” mainstream news :: 91.7 KALW, san francisco

austin music map :: 90.5 KUT, austin

planet takeout :: community through the lens of chinese food :: 89.7 WGBH, boston

the making of… :: northern california interactive artworks :: 88.5 KQED, san francisco in collaboration with kitchen sisters and zeega

reinvention stories :: rebuilding america’s fastest dying city :: 91.3 WYSO, yellow springs, oh

ed zed omega :: “what does school accomplish?” :: twin cities

we live in a high tech world.  technology has shown to be very valuable in telling of grass roots stories – think twitter in the middle east and northern africa.  combine this technology with the fact that everyone needs their opinion represented in some way.  as the dayton project reinvention stories revealed, the story becomes more that of the teller than the reporter.  ultimately, a trustworthy news source makes people more willing to speak.  for example, KVNF found that even conservatives not wanting to support environmental efforts, still had work habits that depended on changing weather patterns.  to be sure, changes in colorado have been extreme enough to cause katrina-level catastrophe flooding last month.  the progressive thinking of KVNF has drawn the ire of the tea party, which only reinforced the mission of KNVF as a community station.  why not have an honest station that deals with life and death issues, even at the risk of life and death?

that is to say, there are many risks that go beyond the financial support of a community media outlet or the mastery of modern technology.  there are risks in trying new ways of reporting that some don’t want exposed.  there are also risks in not trying new ways of reporting.  there are risks of being an unknown person and whether people can trust the reporter.  that’s where the work directed toward real community issues helps create bridges to people that may not trust corporate-owned media.  the solid point remained that if there are issues that affect people’s lives, those issues need to be reported at any cost.  if the community is going to fund a project, then that project has a responsibility to represent the community.

as sally says “technology is not the medium, it’s a tool.  the medium is love.”  there is a link between love and listening.  they complement each other.  a person who loves, listens.  a person who listens, loves.

october rabble rouser hall of fame

joe bell (1946-2013) & jadin bell (1998-2013)
     the course of events surrounding the bell family in the past year is absolutely incomprehensible.

     in april, joe bell set off on a walk from la grande thru the southeast and north to new york, a walk he hoped wouldn’t take more than about two years. his mission was to spread the word of his son jadin bell, who committed suicide after being bullied.  on KEOL’s grande review show all summer, we featured the progress of joe bell and some of the deeply inspiring stories he was sharing in what could otherwise be seen as a somewhat slow summer.  

      meeting joe bell during the pancake feed fundraiser for his "walk for change" gave the impression of exactly the man to be spreading the gospel.  joe was calm and unassuming.  he listened no matter how important the topic and made others feel comfortable, respected and understood.

      kid yoshida feels particularly guilty for doing such stupid things with more fortunate outomes.  certainly, for all the causes to support, there can be no underestimating the point of what joe bell was trying to do in a generation where gay rights are the watershed movement.  to be willing to do such a thing, and to pull it off, shows a dedication that can’t be tarnished.

       joe made triumph in overcoming lots of hurdles on the road, with his artificial knees and perpetual blisters, having to adjust physically to the task and the elements, surviving theft and misunderstanding by others.  but he also  inspired a lot of people.  he featured some interesting and frustrating accounts of the ordeal in this salon article ("they ripped him apart") that is required reading. few things are more important than this article published last september.

here are some other links....

faces for change

joe on opb’s think out loud

walk for change 

paul toutonghi's rememberance on opb's think out loud




malala yousafzai  (1997-present)
nominated for, though not awarded, the nobel peace prize, which was given to the organization for the prohibition of chemical weapons october 11.  however, malala has recently won numerous other awards like the sakarov prize, the RAW in war anna politkovskaya award, and the gomes humanitarian award.  the sixteen-year-old pakastan girl was shot in the head by the taliban for promoting girls' access to education. still, she refuses to give up, saying "they can kill me, but it doesn't mean they can kill causes."  malala vows to press on in the face of persistent threats, seeking to become the doctor of the whole country and prime minister of pakistan.







annette buchanan conard (1945-2013)

a pioneer in journalist's right to protect sources.
     in 1966, buchanan assumed the role of editor of the oregon daily emerald and shortly thereafter wrote an article called “students condone marijuana use.” annette was then subpoenaed and asked to reveal her sources.  she refused to provide names to police and, in fact, mocked the need for a subpoena, saying, “i don’t know if you should need a grand jury to find out about drug use on campus.”  buchanan was charged with contempt of court, but was supported by journalists nationwide, and by president johnson, pushing free press and shield laws to protect sources.  what’s a person to do, be ostracized from their profession or follow court orders?  annette did what she thought was the responsible decision, not necessarily the popular or safest decision.  she was ordered to pay $300.  before paying, she appealed to the oregon supreme court, who upheld the verdict. the u.s. supreme court passed on the case in 1968. sometimes justice is hard to find, sometimes credibility is not respected.  the “girl editor” who just wanted to write about kids using drugs ended up dropping out of school and dropped back from the press firing lines, taking a job as copy editor at the oregonian.  support for her cause continued and by 1973 governor mccall, a former journalist himself, signed a shield law into place forbidding authorities from asking oregon media representatives to share sources.

     buchanan never revealed anything, staying out of the media.  frontal lobe damage from a few different head injuries left buchanan unable to talk, walk, dress, or eat by 2006.  she passed away in february 2013 without ever discussing the case or, more importantly, telling anyone who her sources were.  not that the police probably didn’t find out anyway.  they just didn’t find out through any complicity of buchanan.

     her story is featured in the autumn 2013 story in oregon quarterly “the stand she took.”  

herman wallace (1942-2013)

one of the angola three, who spent 40 years in solitary confinement for the supposed killing of a prison guard.         

       wallace had previously been an poet, “lover of literature,” and activist seeking to improve prison conditions on segregation, rape and violence, through hunger strikes, petitions, etc.   he had been purportedly held in the hole because of his “black pantherism” by a warden seeking a christian way of reform.  wallace was finally released on october 1 due to advanced liver disease and died on october 4 at the age of 71 years old.  three congressmen; cedric richmond, john conyers and bobby scott  referred to wallace as “the muhammed ali of justice” and entered a tribute to him in the congressional record.

       wallace died the same day as vietnamese general vo nguyen giap (aged 102 years old).

september 2013 rabble rouser of the month: russell brand

russell brand photo by richard young of rex features from the guardian

good comedy makes it nearly impossible to tell the difference between jokes and truth.  that’s what makes russell brand a master.  good luck figuring out whether he’s joking or serious.

on september 3, russell spoke at the gq men of the year awards ceremony to accept his oracle award. first thing brand attacked was how fake all the pompous parties associated with such events are.  then he bagged on his own oracle award, which he said “sounds recently made up.”  getting more serious, concerning boris johnson (the london mayor who had just won the politician of year), brand said, “glad to grace the same stage where boris johnson has just made light of the use of chemical weapons in syria.  gq can now stand for ‘genocide quips.’”  but the most notorious part of brand’s speech was, of course, the comment regarding hugo boss (the event sponsor).  “we had a lot of clients in the 30s and 40s. i can’t remember all of them” brand joked to mock his revelation that hugo boss made the uniforms for the nazi party in world war 2.  “the nazis did have flaws, but you know they looked fucking fantastic!  lets’ face it.  while they were killing people on the basis of their religion and sexuality.” 

history is not as forgiving as current times for covering up actions, so hugo boss can’t exactly deny the claims.  on the contrary, siegfried boss said, “the whole industry worked for the nazi army” in a huffington post report.  that’s an interesting quote in so much as it sounds as cavalier as it does obvious.  sure, in a you’re either with us or with them society, the lines are clear cut and you stand either to kill or be killed.  my guess is that most people would want to join the side of the victor.  (i am not sure who the “whole industry” refers to. all the clothing manufacturers or all businesses in general?)  still, i would assume most of the ones allowed to live did support the nazi army.  but the attitude didn’t seem one of remorse or compassion on boss’ part as much as a disconcerting, almost a boastful pride.  speaking of not telling the difference between jokes and truth, maybe siegfried boss should go into comedy.  the more things change, the more they stay the same.  by supporting politicians who condone the use of chemical weapons, how much does gq or hugo boss regret having supported the nazis in the 30 and 40s?  then to now, nothing has really changed.   

russell brand, congrats!    not just for exposing a little known fact, but for putting it into perspective.  i mean, if there had to be one thing positive said about the nazis, they did have impressive uniforms.  i am not sure brand wasn’t serious on that.  i suppose hugo boss was running with pride in their work.  and brand certainly wasn’t joking about the “fake parties,” so it was most likely to his delight that he was kicked out of an after party due to his speech.  “the glamour and the glitz isn’t real.  the party isn’t real.  you have a much better time mucking around trying to make your mates laugh.  i suppose that’s obvious.  we all know it.  we already know the important stuff like don’t trust politicians, don’t trust big business and don’t trust the media.  trust your own heart and each other.  when you take a breath and look away from the spectacle, it’s amazing how absurd it all seems when you look back.”

brand’s point in the guardian article in explaining his comments, questioned some glaring truths known that are certainly not funny, “if you can’t criticize hugo boss at the gq awards because they own the event, do you think it is significant that energy companies donate to the tory party?   will that affect government policy?  will the relationships that ‘politician of the year’ boris johnson has with city bankers… influence the way he runs our capital?   is it any wonder that amazon, vodafone and starbucks avoid paying tax when they enjoy such cosy relationships with members of our government?  ought we be concerned that our rights to protest are being continually eroded under the guise of enhancing our safety?  is there a relationship between proposed fracking in the uk, new laws that prohibit protest and the relationships between energy companies and our government?

that’s asking some serious questions. russell brand is the second brit to win the rabble rouser of the month award in the last three months and perhaps the first true celebrity to win it (in addition to the prestigious oracle award obviously). 

here is a video of the acceptance speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8U9JBJTm40

generational differences? i think not.

generational differences deabte...  this blogument is a long time coming.  not as complete as organized as i would normally wait for an essay to be, but eventually it just needs to be said.


one common conception occurs concerning differences among men and women as being issues of “a man thing” or “a woman thing.” i dispute that there is really that much of a difference, that people are more similar than they are not and the actual differences between men and women are overstated. i think differences are individually based, not gender, race, etc.

one more conception, particularly shunned by me, is that there is a difference among kids from generation to generation.  i don’t think generational differences exist as much as perceptions are tinted by the things going on in current life.   when i don’t wear whatever clothes kids today wear, listen to the new hip music or other trends, is that cuz i am too old and don’t get the younger generation, or is cuz of the roads i have travelled and the experiences i have had?  those haven't been on the popular path and, as such, not part of the popular opinion which make up blocks of thinking.  i didn’t dress or act like other 17-year-olds when i was 17 myself, so why would i act or dress like other kids now that i am older?

in today’s terms, technology is used as a measuring stick for overall changes and life events.  by that rationale, we should feel every six months is a new generation.   the real issue is that people have an extremely hard time seeing their own lives and times in historical context.   in other words, differences among eras can be confused with people being ego-centric.  for much the same reason, we consistently face an impending doom, the coming rapture.  from y2k to the end of the mayan calendar last december, and every year in between, people need to feel like their lives and times are the most important in human history.   but is 2013 really that important?   in the year 2213 will people be able to mention one thing that is happening right now?   is 2013 as important as 1066, or even 1968, for example?    in the end, life is not any different now than it has ever been.  people still lie, cheat and steal, like any other time.  nations still fight wars for territory or other economic gain and make it into a religious or cultural difference to hide truths.  the horse of troy may be outdated by humvees and stealth aircraft, but the concepts and motives are exactly the same.  the only things that change are the names and details.  in the 1960s, people used a blender.  in the 90s, it was a juicer.  a different name for the product, same function.  the ford’s and chevy’s of yesterday are now rusting in junk yards or have been turned into scrap metal just as the trucks people are waxing so dilligently at the car wash today will tomorrow's be scrap metal.  TVs used to have tubes and bulbs and now they are flat, lcd screens.   video games used to be in bulky home consoles, now they are handheld and portable just as telephones have become.  but none of this changes the fact that people need to play and communicate and consume.  we once had slaves shipped from africa.  when that was outlawed, we used women and children as slaves.  we went on to using prisoners for slave labor.   a current method of choice has been illegal immigrants.  there have always been slaves, there will always be slaves.  who will be the slave population next?  what matters is that the fact and way of life doesn’t change.  people exploit people for their own gain.  

i have commonly said is that certain person’s in one area or aspect of life serve the same the role as someone from a different place and time.  many people have never understood what that meant, but for every person you encounter in one setting, there will be someone in a different setting who plays the same part.  like in every play, there is a jester and a hero.  like in every elevator, there is someone who thought it would be funny to fart.  that type of person can be found in every setting.  sometimes they have the same demeanor and sometimes even look the same.  despite all the supposed differences between people, similarities are the norm.  the same cycles of behavior happen over and over again throughout history.   

i love seeing kids listen to new hip music as a way to escape the old crusty music of their parents.  when kids caught up in the hysteria of the dope rhymes they hear right now wake up tomorrow with their own kids liking something that they themselves can't understand.  that type of thing will continue happening.  but we find that the music is not any different.  someone like rihanna has been doing in more recent times what madonna did the other day.   the difference between the two is not from a different generation, but a different style of life.  and there have been numerous people to step up and claim the hip crown from year to year.  take words from atribecalledquest in the song excursions “back in the day when i was a teenager, before i had status and before i had a pager, you could find the abstract listening to hip hop. my pops used to say it reminded him of bebop. i said well daddy don’t you know that things go in cycles, the way that bobby brown is just ampin’ like michael.”   

pagers may have given way to iphones, but the message is ageless.  hip hop, a culture, like all other cultures, follows the same blue print.  from one generation to the next, things work in very similar ways.  cultural connections ring even truer.  hip hop and metal came of age at the same time, ie in the same generation, but hip hop seems to speak more like a previous generation’s jazz than hip hop is identifiable with metal.  birds of a feather flock together, as they say.  and being of the same generation doesn’t make you of the same feather.  for example, i could more easily see uma thurman pal-ing around with lana turner than i could see her with paris hilton.   let’s take that example to another level. 

take ralph waldo emerson, for example.   ralph had characterized his mother’s “manners and character the fruits of a past age.”   a certain country song i heard on the radio last year referred to his dad’s music as borderline abusive, but in time he gets it.  harry chapin’s song cats in the cradle sees his child grow up to be exactly the same person.  as ralph waldo emerson got older, he realized that his mother was doing all that was in her means.  sure, kids today feel completely detached from their parent’s generation.  but is that only a feeling?  i argue yes.  a kid in 2013 may feel like 1973 is ancient history. as emerson showed, kids in 1820 seemed to think parents who came of age in 1780 were archaic.  but looking back historically, who today can see much difference between 1820 and 1780?  the only thing different between generations is the similarity that kids need to create their own life.   

i came of age at a time when video games were an advancing craze.  when i was a child, video game consoles in homes were relatively new and kids who could own one generally did. when i was 16, most kids at least had the original nintendo.  i did as well, for a little while, a hand me down version with a couple of hand me down games to play on a hand me down TV.  throughout high school, kids played video games.  and the next year’s kids did so progressively more, and so on through out the 90s. yet, now people like to think i don’t play video games because i grew up in a older generation.  in my generation, people played them, but i didn’t then, as now.  no different than now, there are many people my own age that play video games, while i still don’t.   people today buy the newest phones, cars and such because they can.   not because they need the technology, but more out of a need to fit in with trendsetters.  and we certainly can’t confuse the need to be cool with a generational difference.  kids in every generation seek to be cool as much as they seek to separate themselves from their parents.  yeah, we have different types of gadgets than in the past, different types of cameras, phones, video game consoles, etc.  and to some extent the new gadgets foster a different lifestyle, such as people getting killed by texting drivers, but the degree of differences like that are minimal.  to a greater extent, each person’s demeanor determines how much they care about these things or get caught up in the latest trends. in most cases, people get caught up in the latest trends if they can (i.e., they have the necessary education on the subject, or the money to purchase new toys, etc.).  for example, do you have an iOS7?  maybe not, but i bet lots of junior high school kids in japan have something equivalently as good.  does that make them of a different generation than the same aged kids in america?  no, it means they have different opportunity.  

i have rarely ever had a TV and most certainly have never paid for a TV.  try to typecast that behavior into a single generation.  so, thinking back to ralph waldo emerson, and the question of could you recognize a generational difference of a kid born in 1870 between that of a kid born in 1800?  that’s harder to see because people in 2013 are outsiders to both.  it’s as hard as trying to envision what today will look like in 2083.  looking back at some of the technological advancements since 1970, changes seem to have come very quickly.  but when a person looks back in 2083 or even 2213, the pace of technology advancements from 1970-2010 might seem to have taken entirely too long.  after a certain point, emerson realized that though some differences existed (his mother was “one of those old fashioned women who grew up in boston wearing george washington’s name embroidered on her scarf”), he didn’t identify with differences as much as the more significant things.  what was significant was that “she secured the essentials. she got the kids educated.” a poor single mother could at least get all her kids through harvard.  imagine a poor kid in boston today even getting a chance to tour the harvard campus.  if you wanna argue for generational differences, try to convince me using that argument!  yet, it can not be generational.  it is about finance, culture and opportunity.  the differences that separate people of all times.  

think about this more deeply… ralph waldo emerson was born in 1803.  if the generation difference holds much water, then he should be like kids born in 1803 than in 1767, as his mother was.  consider a japanese kid born in 1803 who had a mother born in 1767.  do you think young waldo and the japanese boy would be more alike and the mothers alike, or would waldo and his mother be more alike than either would be to the japanese family?   it’s kind of hard to prove, but i would bet that cultural differences being more significant, now as then, that the families would be bonded more strongly rather than being able to relate to foreigners on the other side of the world.  the same goes on any level…country boys don’t understand city boys, poor kids play with other poor kids, co-workers without college education typically form cliques that don’t include those with college degrees, smokers share most gossip only with other smokers and so on…  these types of relationships apply across all generations, because they are more easily able to identify with like minded people than people who simply share the same birthday.  

i would even go so far as to say that zodiac signs have more relevance than generation identification.  if all this isn’t convincing enough, take it straight from the late great utah phillips.  he was a man who spent his life studying the underbelly of american culture and came away with some amazing wisdom. in the song bridges he scoffed when someone reduced folk music as being 60s stuff.  a guy told him “you sing a lot about the past, you can’t live in the past.”  to which utah said, “i can go outside and pick up a rock that’s older than the oldest song you know and bring back in here and drop it on your foot. now the past didn’t go anywhere, did it? … anybody who told me i couldn’t live in the past was trying to get me to forget something that if i remembered it would get me in serious trouble … that 50s 60s 70s 90s, stuff, that whole idea of decade packaging, things don’t happen that way … packaging of time is a journalistic convenience that they use to trivialize and to dismiss important events and important ideas…”   a good starter for a larger debate?   ralph waldo emerson, utah phillips, and atribecalledquest are several great minds espousing the idea that generational differences are overrated, and the things that happen in one era can and do happen in every era.  

finances, education, culture, opportunity…these things effect peoples lives to a great degree, generational influence is to a very minimal, if any, degree.  generation arguments are a scapegoat keeping people from seeing the world in a more realistic and wholistic perspective.  try to look at life, especially your own experience, from an outsider perspective now and then.  that is very difficult to do, but will make you wise.  and don’t get me started about differences between men and women. 

round up vs. great circle

the pendleton round-up is a special event, in so much as it is the anniversary of my living in eastern oregon.  i moved to eastern oregon a few days before the 100^th round up.  i didn’t go that year, or the second year.  but i have been to round up the last two years and i have to say, it’s pretty overrated.  no, it’s extremely over rated.  the first time was fun, but with little context.  a few weeks before my first round up, i went to walla walla fair and frontier days.  these were the first rodeos i had been to since i was a kid, not that I went to a whole lot of rodeos when i was a kid, maybe two or three and those being so long ago, pendleton and walla walla were, for all practical purposes, the first ones.

over the past year, i have also been to the union stock show and elgin stampede. i considered going to chief joseph days, because it gets talked up like a mini round up. but an acquaintance who grew up in wallowa county told me that it was overrated and i shouldn’t waste my time going that far for only that reason.  after elgin and union, i didn’t feel much need to go to other rodeos.  one of the first things to know about me is that i am not into events for the social scene.  when i go to a sporting event, concert or whatever, i am attracted to the competition and entertainment and not the hanging out, chatting, seeing the sights and all that.  i care about excitement on the field.  i almost prefer to attend sporting events alone, or at least with someone who is interested in the specifics of the sport and won’t talk my ear off.  if the social scene is what you’re into, then maybe the pendleton round up is for you.

my first round up certainly paled in comparison to walla walla. that rodeo is held in conjunction with the county fair, so there is a much larger carnival, animal showing, and various other performances that accompany it.  it’s really not fair to hold fair and frontier days in comparison to another strictly rodeo event.  but then again, the round up is not strictly a rodeo either, and for that the rodeo itself suffers.

to compare pendleton to elgin or union is also not fair.  those rodeos clearly are superior.  the on-field activity is not for the faint of heart.  the animals in those more “minor” rodeos are far more fierce.  the spectator will actually see the cowboys carted off the field. at the elgin stampede, just with the bucking broncs, i saw a guy carried off with a broken leg and another break his wrist on a bucking horse before he could even get out of the chute. the horse was so ready to throw the guy off that it tried to jump out before the chute opened and got caught up, straddling the fence.  that extreme activity doesn’t happen in pendleton, though the p.a. announcer hypes how real it is while it is isn’t really happening.  pendleton is famously known for “let ‘er buck” only problem is that when one actually watches the horses, it is obvious they are barely kicking their back feet.  in union, the horses buck until they are nearly perpendicular to the ground.  in pendleton, the p.a. announcer praises that “this is a former world champion bucking horse!” even though by the time a horse becomes a champion, it has to be pretty old.  the former champion this year was twenty years old.  i wouldn’t go to a baseball game to see a former champion take his last swings and misses, i would want to see him smashing home runs in the prime of his career.  the horses in elgin and union are the horses in the prime of their careers.  i will give pendleton a little reprieve from the fact that it is late in the season and take panda’s excuse that maybe the horses are tired of being mean all summer.  fair enough, i suppose, but don’t brag the broncs up as the best. “let ‘er buck?”  what is bucking?   the p.a. announcer continually telling me that “these are the best in the world” is a joke because round up is not even the best rodeo in eastern oregon.

without much excitement on the field, the main point to notice is the exclusivity and pompous invite-only activities that makes the round up seem like the kentucky derby of northwest rodeos.  i got a more humble awakening to this other side to the round up that most people will never be a part of when my boss was invited by a group to sit in the exclusive box seats that need to be reserved years in advance that costs an entire paycheck for some us and comes with access to all the other rooms and buildings that one wonders what happens inside of.  but she has lived here for her entire life and has been to enough rodeos that driving an hour to go to one when there are several more closer is not that attractive, especially when she is told that she has to dress nice.  she says, “i have to dress up?  to go to a rodeo?  no thanks.  take someone else.”  people like that are my heroes and make me happy to have the job i do.  

and then to consider the lines, the clogged up traffic, the pay-to-park, the lack of access to even shake the hands of the athletes, and so on…there is an entirely ridiculous rigamarole to even buying a beer.  you have to find one guy on a mezzanine who checks i.d’s and puts on wristbands.  then, with the wrist band, you go to a window to purchase tokens for four dollars each.  then you go stand in a longer line to exchange a token for your choice of either a coors light draft or a can of a hard lemonade.  can i go back to elgin where i just stand in one line of three or four people and show my i.d. to the person pouring the beer?  not to mention there is a killer brewery in pendleton.  why can i not buy prodigal son beer at round up?  needless to say, i wouldn’t have a beer at round up.  instead i went to the great satan of soda to try and keep myself awake through the boredom of it all.  but then i am told that the only options are coca-cola and sprite.  i ask for a sprite and the guy reaches down to pick up a watered-down soda from a stockpile that was poured five minutes earlier to be fast enough meet the high demands of the crowds.  the guy never even smiled, and none of the experience was worth my putting a tip into his bucket.

following round up, they have an “evening entertainment program” in happy canyon that depicts the history of horrors of indians in the region.  the night show was toned down more this year than last.  this year, the window in the chinese laundry mat was shot out. last year, they burned the thing down and relentlessly tormented the chinese people who were actually just more white people wearing straw hats.  and every old west store front has perfectly crafted signs in beautifully written fonts, except for the chinese laundry mat, which is written in chinese characters with handwriting worse than a kindergartener would do. overall, the racism and indian genocide shown in the performance can be passed off theatre, a portrayal of the way times were.  meanwhile, the crowd cheering as the white man rises to the top forcing the removal of indians can be considered a portrayal of the way times still are.

as much a waste of time as round up was, i wouldn’t have minded to go back to pendleton the next night when work wasn’t part of the picture and i could do the in-town concerts, carnival and and other stuff that was twelve blocks away on main street and virtually impossible to get to for people tied up at the rodeo grounds and happy canyon night show.  jd kindle and the playboys were on at the GP two nights in a row.  it would have been a good time, but!!  in la grande we now have an event during round up weekend to give people in union county an alternative to going to pendleton.

this was the second year of the great circle.  it’s a benefit concert for the blue mountains conservancy organized by colt haney and some other down to earth to people that make it much more inviting than a rodeo in a huge stadium.  the great circle is a new enough thing that there is no exclusive access.  the artists and maybe some volunteers have v.i.p. passes, but otherwise the most exclusive access is a $25 wristband to take part in all three days of activities, camping and all that.  that’s only $7 more than to sit in the top row for a single four-hour rodeo.  this is to say that my preferred concert experience is about the same as my preferred sporting event.  to me, these are about seeing the performance and not going home afterwards to try to see myself on tv while watching a replay. great circle is a event big enough that you know a lot of the songs by heart, but small enough that anyone can walk backstage or drink with the bands in the beer garden.  and while the recycling doesn’t reach my rigorous standards, i can at least leave a cup with my name on it next to the kegs that i reuse every time i go back for another beer.  and, yes, it’s real beer brewed here in oregon by 2 kilts. and while the food may not have been as locally sourced as i would prefer, it’s not just processed junk food either.  the menu puts to shame any and all eating establishments in la grande.

great circle was perfect. the bands are top notch and the experience was a “one of a lifetime” type event, except that it happens annually.  even the electricity surges a few times didn’t interrupt the music, it only made the bands and the dancing crowd more engaged and together.  never again should anyone expect to find me at round up, i would choose great circle any day over round up.  with land blessings and conservation efforts to preserve the wilderness surrounding the great circle, the money spent to attend the event goes to a much greater cause than the commercialization of a rodeo in a town that competes to be the biggest “city” in eastern oregon.  even the genocide of the indians took on a more positive light at great circle with ghost wind singing songs of how the indians are rising up and reclaiming their lands, buying some of it back (as if they should have to pay for it, but i am just pessimistic in that way).  it’s an encouraging spirit, not one of “oh that sucked, but oh well this is the way it is now” mentality that permeates most of the rest of an apathetic society.

as i think back on it all, the year that has been…seeing the EOU ladies play at nationals in iowa, to keol fest, to the rodeo season, to all the events at liberty theatre, to my little tiff with the observer last week, one thing clearly comes into focus.  i volunteer my time to a radio station, that like most other free-form, non-commercial entities, struggles to survive. news, music, sports and entertainment are cutthroat businesses.  that holds no attraction to me.  i am not in this to cut throats.  i would rather cut my own throat than someone elses, even that of my most ardent enemy.  that is why it’s tough to watch the happy canyon night show.  i feel more for the indians than the white men, then and now.  i put myself in the same position, vulnerable though it may be to not play along with the expansionist agendas.  the day i start doing this to get ahead, or to be cool, is the day i exit the game.  i operate now, as always, to help provide people with an alternative to the lame over rated activities that divide people into exclusive groups: those with tickets vs. those without, those with v.i.p. passes and so forth.  once an event gets too much of an important of a level, it becomes a ho-hum event that continues for the sake of a reputation and a profit rather than it’s original purpose and that is why new alternatives are needed.  in short, i live to bring fun to a town that is virtually impossible to have fun in.  that by itself is already a hard enough job, i don’t want a harder more convoluted job than that.  

this is all maddening because (as i sound like a broken record) not only is there on the one side of the fence people trying to make it hard to allow fun things to happen, but there is the other side of the fence of people that seem to not even care enough to want to attend the events.  for as successful as events like great circle, keol fest and others have been, more people will leave la grande to go see the pendleton round up than come out to the great circle.  that’s pathetic.  still, we continue in hope that it will change, that someday people will appreciate what is in their own back yard more than what is in another town.  i am still looking back to march when holiday friends, a nationally touring band, stopped in at ten depot.  two days later, they played a outdoor stage to thousands of people in boise.  though they can practically have groupies clamoring for backstage access in another city, they had five people show up to see them here.  that will never make sense to me, but it does help me understand why people still remember the eagles coming to la grande in 1976, and people still remember that it was 1976 specifically, not that it was in the 1970s in general.  people remember it so specifically because it will never happen again.  the social community is like a plant.  if you give it water, it will grow bigger and bigger.  if not, it withers and dies.  if there is no support for the musicians that are willing to play here now, then there will be no incentive for bigger musicians to play here in the future.  we will continue to have people talking about seeing taylor swift’s tour busses passing by on I-84 on the way to portland, as if that is a big deal.  that’s the extent of the excitement.  and the fans of people like that will continue going to portland for entertainment and not care or even know that better things happen right here. 

between a city that doesn’t want anything fun to happen and an audience that remains apathetic to whether something fun will ever happen, that’s the ho-hum life la grande will continue to support.  the same way that deeply disturbing salon article about jadin bell showed a parallel that la grande is exactly the same town now that it was 48 years ago, la grande will still be the same town in 48 years from now no doubt.  i predict that island city will surpass la grande in population within 48 years.  yet despite all it’s problems in some ways, it makes la grande the perfect place for me.  it makes an environment where i can help paint the picture.  when things are so dead, it makes everything we do get to do that much better.  it’s almost contradictory and only really makes sense on a deeper level.  this is still somewhere that a fun event can entice people away from pendleton on round up weekend, even if they are the minority.  it’s better to follow the minority than the majority.  for now, it makes me happy to be here and surely, like everyone else, it’ll be what someday makes me leave for somewhere else, but it’ll add an interesting and very different chapter to my life story no doubt.  there can be alternatives, even in la grande.  they just cost a little more, in terms of effort, but then i guess we get what we pay for. 

saigon & chicago

below is a recap of chapter 5 “saigon & chicago” from “jfk & the unspeakable: why he died and why it matters” by james w. douglass
click the links for recaps of previous chapters:
chapter 1: a cold warrior
chapter 2: kennedy, castro & the CIA
chapter 3: kennedy & vietnam

chapter 4: marked out for assassination

chapter five opens with a reflection back to the cuban crises.

kruschev had wanted to help his enemy kennedy based on a noah’s ark parable, saying “we now have a common cause to save the world from those pushing us toward war.”  robert kennedy had told the messenger anatoly dobrynin that his brother “didn’t know how to resolve the situation. the military is putting great pressure on him and insisting on military actions against cuba and the president is in a very difficult situation. even if he doesn’t want or desire war, something irreversible could occur against his will.”  kruschev’s memoirs added another robert kennedy quote, “if the situation continues much longer, the president is not sure the military will not overthrow him and seize power.”  both kennedy and kruschev were attune to the pressures from within their own governments and ready for peaceful solutions. as kennedy hoped “the test ban treaty to move the world to a just and lasting peace,” he now sought to begin merging missile technologies in a peaceful project of a race to the moon.

marvin gesling was an FBI agent who made a decision to end the watch on lee harvey oswald.  when j. edgar hoover learned of this, he was furious and relocated gesling to “siberia” (or the detroit field office).  but hoover himself was frustrated more because he knew the FBI had no power compared to the CIA.  he considered the relation of the “false story” of oswald’s trip to mexico. the trip was not false to the CIA because of their duplicity to the public in which the CIA posed oswald as a pro-castro agent, although they had another agenda. they created the false story to subvert and discredit the fair play for cuba committee. the real intent was to stage a soviet connection and scapegoat oswald, cuba and the soviet union altogether in the cover up of kennedy’s murder.

in the early 1960s, the first protests to end the war in vietnam occured. kennedy was not far behind them and began to enact his own plans.  kennedy was walking a fine line with the public, telling news reporters that he did not believe in withdrawing even as he was drafting NSAM 263 issuing plans for withdrawal.  he was trying to appease his advisors every once in a while and also achieve re-election for when he could do real work. still he was telling close acquaintances that he had definitely decided to get out. 

by kennedy’s plans, the presidency of diem in south vietnam was a necessity.  however, everyone else, including his supporters, sought the overthrow of diem.  henry cabot lodge, kennedy’s biggest mistake as vietnam ambassador, criticized diem’s “medieval attitude” and typically refused to meet with him.  kennedy kept pushing lodge to communicate, even if diem was unreasonable. kennedy tried to be cordial with lodge and appeal to his sensibilities if he hoped to get anywhere, though this left kennedy “on a collision course” with both lodge and diem.  meanwhile, kennedy sent two generals opposed to a coup to meet with diem.  diem still did not relent from his duty, and would not until the eleventh hour.

the CIA not only had more power than the FBI on internal matters, they also had more involvement in vietnam than the pentagon did.  CIA undercover activities were exposed by a new york times article in october 1963.  lodge was actively working with the CIA to facilitate a coup in south vietnam.  with his help, they checkmated kennedy in asia and “CIA spooks have infiltrated every sect of american communities in vietnam” as the washington daily news reported.

diem finally caught on to the coup agenda and reached out to henry lodge. lodge consoled him, though he knew much more than he let on.  lodge did not give diem any more complete information than he did to kennedy.  as the coup was encroaching on the presidential palace, lodge sent diem’s messages to kennedy halfheartedly and by the slowest means possible.  when lodge offered diem safe passage out of vietnam, he was bluffing.  in doing so, lodge also tipped off diem that he had been working with the generals in support of a coup.  in supporting the south vietnam coup, lodge was setting up kennedy as a communist sympathizer, which was simultaneously facilitating a washington coup.  diem, and his brother nhu, managed to escape the presidential grounds and found overnight shelter.  diem called lodge for assistance, though lodge then decided that he could not afford to get involved.  the CIA had no plans to evacuate diem, though lodge did have a plane available for washington trips.  instead, diem and nhu were tracked to a church from where they were taken and assassinated.  kennedy was horrified by this news, and though he accepted some responsibility for going along with some of the coup plans, he blamed the CIA for the assassination, echoing his same reaction to the 1961 assassination of the congolese president patrice lumumba.  kennedy was deeply bothered by not having done enough to help either lumumba or diem, reinforcing his wish to “splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter it to the wind.”

at the same time that the saigon coup was going down, a correlated plot was being attempted in chicago to have kennedy assassinated.  an informant named “lee” had tipped off the FBI of armed snipers in chicago conspiring to kill kennedy on november 2.  hoover passed the buck on to the secret service, though this tip did lead to the arrest of three people, while two others alluded capture.  two of the arrested have never been identified.  the other was a scapegoat that parallels lee harvey oswald in dallas. thomas arthur vallee was a lone-nut, ex-marine who had trained at a U2 base in japan.  likewise, he also relocated to chicago from new york and was given a job late in 1963 in a building that overlooked the chicago presidential motorcade route, much like oswald had relocated from new orleans to dallas in late 1963 and was given a job in the texas book depository. vallee also was involved in various hushed-up activities, such as when his new york license plate information was frozen after the chicago incident and made available only to the FBI.  because of the tipoffs by “lee” and a detective who had met with vallee, the chicago plan was thwarted.  using the vietnam crisis as an excuse, kennedy’s trip to chicago was cancelled.  the timing of the arrest and the cancellation was called into question by douglass.  vallee had been followed, but not arrested until two and half hours before kennedy was due to arrive in chicago.  by that time, the cancellation announcement had already been made public. 

in chapter 5, douglass re-introduces abraham bolden, the chicago secret service officer who had a rough go working at the white house.  bolden knew too much about chicago and feared that kennedy would be killed.  suddenly, the IRS offered bolden a special assignment and a new identity, which was not an uncommon practice used to eliminate dissidents.  bolden thought he was being set up and refused the offer.  after the dallas assassination, bolden and his secret service colleagues knew there had been a connection with chicago but were told by the special agent in charge that nothing happened, that they knew nothing and not to talk about it.  in 1964, the secret service suddenly decided to take all member books and re-issue new information.  bolden suspected that identities needed to be covered up from kennedy’s murder.  he continued reflecting on the white house secret service attitude toward kennedy and the connections between dallas and chicago.  when he was sent to a training in DC, bolden attempted to contact the warren commission.  he was overheard by another agent and sent back to chicago where he was arrested under false pretenses of fraud.  bolden was convicted and all appeals held up despite documented evidence of the judge’s prejudice and witness perjury.  after getting out of prison in 1969, bolden and his wife were persistently threatened and harassed.   nonetheless, bolden continued to speak out on the matter to journalists and has written an autobiography. 

douglass wraps up the chapter by tying together the coincidences…

“just as chicago was the model for dallas, saigon was the backdrop for chicago. the virtual simultaneity of the successful saigon plot to assassinate ngo dinh diem and the unsuccessful chicago plot to assassinate john f. kennedy strongly suggests their having been coordinated in a single, comprehensive scenario. if kennedy had been murdered in chicago on the day after diem’s and nho’s murders in saigon, the juxtaposition of the events would have created the perfect formula to be spoon fed to the public: ‘kennedy murdered diem and got what he deserved.’  the legend created for the dallas scenario of the gun-toting malcontent lee harvey oswald followed a similar pattern.  from claims made by a series of CIA officers to the authors of widely disseminated books and articles, john kennedy has been convicted in his grave of having tried to kill fidel castro, whose supposedly deranged surrogate, lee harvey oswald, then retaliated.  as a successful chicago plot would have done, the dallas plot ended up blaming the victim: ‘kennedy tried to murder castro, and got what he deserved.’”

in 1995, the assassination records review board requested documents related to the chicago plot. the secret service responded by destroying everything. 

well, there i guess we don’t have it… 

tune in next week for the beginning of the last chapter “washington and dallas” and weekly until the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of JFK on november 22. 

bumbershoot!

so much goes on labor day weekend, finding fun can be work itself.  this was supposed to be seven days of live music.  now that’s what i call vacation!  my hopes for tuesday didn’t hold out, but it still turned into 6 out of 7 days.  not bad at all!

bumbershoot is a supreme professional festival.  everyone pulled their jobs off impecably.  the perfect festival atmosphere in seattle center.   i hope to return!

still, no matter how many times i try to convince people otherwise, sometimes life just isn’t fair.  i am going to complain about getting to go on vacation and the ugly side of exclusive access and being taken care of hand and foot.  seriously though, i am appreciative of any time i can get free and anytime i can get a free ride, but things ain’t always the dream they seem. 

three months ago, i found out my friends band was opening for MDC at slabtown. perfect thing to plan six days of just kicking back in portland, not doing a damn thing except starting each day off with a beer.  then i got confirmation for a bumbershoot photo pass in seattle the day after the MDC concert. ideally, this is a primo deal for what would seem to be several days of consecutive music.  so, i cut short the portland dream for the added bonus in seattle.  in the end, my six days of hanging in portland became about eight hours and then three days in seattle center (which we quite active with “work”) before coming back home. somehow i lost two days of vacation there and sat in la grande wondering what to do with the two days off work?  not to be one of those la grande homers, but i take vacations to leave here not come back early.

the first night before leaving la grande was a perfect night at 10 depot. the concert was advertised as kory quinn but turned out to be more like left coast country featuring kory quinn. it’s always great when you get your news from touring bands. “we would have been earlier, but I-84 was blocked off with a shootout so we had to take a long detour.”  that turned out to the be the case, a cop shot a driver who had shot at him. and then the next morning while getting ready for portland, i get to see left coast country again, this time sleeping in my neighbors yard. just camped out in the grass, sleeping nearly in the sidewalk. looked like they stayed for some kind of party there and then headed up to play terminal gravity and juniper jam on the weekend. those are the kind of things i hate skipping, and almost only do for the chance to do something else similar.

then the blur that was the slabtown show. hadn’t seen the faithless saints in over a year, was barely coherent enough to follow any conversation, just remember being out of it to not be able to take photos after the saints played.  but i was in my mind enough to see MDC blitz through every song i could have hoped to hear.  kind of the perfet level of consciousness. the next thing i know, dj liger and sugarloaf are calling me from outside, ready for the drive north. it was kind of a rushed trip, with a botched attempt to find a western union. labor day weekend and of course traffic is going to be bad. so we leave at the crack of dawn (8:00), earlier than even western union opens. (my mother wired me some money, but while on the run i can’t manage to rendezvous with an access point. and she says it can’t be picked up in washington, only oregon, so i am making a very simple task harder by tying to complete it in a scenario that isn’t about to work.) we did find a useful western union that opened at 9:00, but that was too late. we are finally on the road at 8:45, crossing the border. 

it takes about half the drive out of portland, to finally find a spot we can cruise at 80mph.  about ten minutes later, we on the other half of the drive, the drive into seattle, where we are again slowed down by bumper to bumper for a 45 mph traffic jam. we buzz straight past taylor swift’s 25 eighteen wheeler entourage at the tacoma dome through to city center. boise state fans are also cascading into town since it is saturday, week one of the college football season.  in seattle, that means a rematch of last year’s las vegas bowl in which boise state slipped away with a victory. (this weekend, no chance!) we get through it all effortlessly, and to a quick to find and cheap parking space downtown.  then it is the long walk around the entire event to the proper check-in point. next we stand through a long line to that check in, for our one-day ticket. (repeat this step all three days).  we then have to check in at the press room for our badges.  so, the first band we plan to meet, flavr blue, is already on stage starting the festival and we miss their set.  sugarloaf and liger manage to get an interview with the band, while i am off taking pictures of a vip concert that zz ward was doing a few hours before her regular set.  

and then it’s on.  

a mad rush to get photos of ernie watts, nacho picasso, down north, robert glasper, joey bada$$, zz ward’s second show, and the physics all in less than a four hour period, which is then followed by a short interview with the physics.  catch my breath, sit down for about twenty minutes, then another several stages to run around to get photos of charles bradley, gary numan, sally ford and maceo parker.  we had a bit of time to sneak in a couple songs at jason bonham’s led zeppelin experience and then we left the party for logistical reasons.  it had been a hella busy day and we didn’t think our parking pass was valid past ten, so we skipped seeing parts of heart or crystal castles. and because sugarloaf is probably not old enough to get in and because we are dead tired and have no idea where our hotel is, we don’t go to the highline to see MDC for me to make up for the lack of pictures i took at their show in portland.

but extra concerts, even of long standing legends, can be passed up in seattle on labor day weekend. bumbershoot itself is full of concerts by long standing legends. bumbershoot is a killer, killer event.  having the photo pass is nice access for sure. to get to go to your favorite events for free is too good of a deal to pass up.  but let’s get this part straight.  it’s not the best way to experience this, or any other, event.  buy the ticket and take the ride, to quote hunter s. thompson.  i would have much rather bought the ticket and stood in the front row for the breeders or fidlar.  getting in for free comes with responsibilities, responsibilities that i typically wish i was actually getting paid for.  here is the essence in a nutshell. the breeders come on stage at a perfect, dreamy moment near dusk. one of those moments you wish for the chance to see for 20 years finally comes to life and there i am again, in the front watching kim and kelly and josephine and jim.  they serve up their playful album “last splash” in its entirety and a couple extra songs for good measure. 

wearing my breeders shirt puts more pressure on this kind of event. i don’t have many concert shirts, certainly not many from the 90s. also, unlike most of my other clothes, this breeders shirt gets a lot of compliments. then as now. i wait in the press line to get to the front of the stage, even though i was there early enough to be able to just stand in the front row.  press photo access typically gets us three songs to take however many photos with no flash and no video inside the security barrier. the rules vary from band to band, but that’s the general situation.  cool for a minute, but certainly not all fun and games.  this is ten or twenty minutes spent writhing around like worms with the multitude of other photographers to get whatever kind of shot available.  and when that time is over, so is the access.  after my 30 minutes watching the calm before the storm, i go from stage front, to being out of the arena entirely.  i already had front row access from the crowd.  an extra five feet wouldn’t really change much, yet i get herded inside the barriers for a closer look and the ability to move along the front of the stage.  being an extra row closer and having lateral movement abilities doesn’t really yield all that many better shots, but the biggest loss is that i can’t rock out and just enjoy the music. i trip over a different foot every time i try to take a step in the photo pit.  it’s all business, get the job done and move out of someone’s way.  when the job was done, i had a lane not back to my original front row spot (which i guess i could have figured some way to save), but the lane of photographers are all making a bee-line to the next concert.  in this case, the zombies are on the next stage, and broncho on the stage next to that, and an interview to try to catch up to 10 minutes after that. it’s constant running.  i would rather have sweated in the front row to every song, missed the zombies and everything else.  i “saw” the first “three” breeders songs (one cover song for a sound check and then “new year” the prelude to cannonball) for a total of less than ten minutes.  after the running back and forth, i then made it back to watch the last three songs from the concourse on the hill looking down over the thousands of people watching the breeders.  they ended with “fortunately gone” which i thought was a rather weak choice of a song and then give some quick waves and are gone.  that was it.  there is a strict one hour time limit for most musicians, on and off.  the next band has exactly 30 minutes to get ready. so, no encores or much room for taking requests and that kind of thing. 

this event repeated itself, without the magnitude of the breeders impact. most of the events for three days were like this. walk up to the side of the stage, wait with twenty to thirty other photographers, take pictures, go to the next stage, the cycle continues. i got to be at the front of the stage when eric burdon was singing “don’t let me be misunderstood.”  then i was gone, cycling back at the tail end of the show to climb up just enough the slope to stand on my tiptoes to catch a glimpse of eric burdon’s head through the crowd while he sang, “it’s my life” and “house of the rising sun.”   same thing with the zombies.  took photos while they played a new song and made it back just at the very end to see “time of the season” followed up with a track from the alan parson’s eye in the sky album.   kind of a depressing performance to watch, but always glad to be able to see such moments.

all that said, i did get to see a concert or two all the way through and they were worth it, especially on the second day when things were in full swing.  the second day was so action packed. we saw redwood plan, did a quick interview with grizzled mighty, then off to ramona falls, fidlar, then i was headed to see river giant on the plaza stage, furthest away from all only to find they were replaced by another band, midday veil.  i watched some of them, went back for the photo shots of eric burdon, back to try to see the comettes, but i believe i went to the wrong stage, and then all the other stages and back to the end of the eric burdon set, then bob mould, the grizzled mighty – “stop!  watch the rest of this show!”  i told myself.  the grizzled mighty was too much fun and i needed a “break.”   from what i saw, they were the best band of the festival.  and the only band to decimate their drum kit.  then it was the breeders, the zombies, broncho, the breeders, the zombies, broncho, wait, no i missed some of those and saw more of others, it’s kind of a blur at points. you just don’t really know what is happening and what has happened.  you only know what is getting ready to happen. that could sum up the entire life of a photographer. where was the point that i get to really relax?  

at one point, that moment was sitting on the concourse above the tune-in stage waiting for fidlar.  [edit out the part about the cool european kid.]  then the chase is on again.  this time at least fidlar played my favorite songs all in the beginning of the set.  after my second stretch of running to photos, i arrived back to see beats antique.  but i was too late to get in on the first three song limit and got no access to photograph it.  liger and sugarloaf did get an interview with him earlier.  it was epic.  i shook his hand.  i watched the last half the set from the beer garden where people were complaining about why there had to be a fence to the beer garden, which kept them from getting closer.  it was all good.  death cab for cutie was playing their entire (first?) album in key arena’s mainstage, but we were pummeled.  exhausted.  back to our awesome hotel.  not even a chance to see black bananas at the comet.  second time this year i missed them!  they were in portland at a garage festival at star theatre on the night of the timber’s game in april.

the second vacation point i had was waking up on the couch in the hotel room and drinking the rest of the beer and [editing out out parts of my blog for political reasons], that was about the best thing i could hope to do.  then and there, i had my hour or so of vacation, while we waited to go back and do more work.  but it was monday, the last day of the festival.  things were more ho-hum.  there was a stretch of good bands for sure early in the day, but by and large the best acts were scheduled for day one and two.  people seem to be musiced out after about 20 concerts in a span of 24 hours.  besides that, it’s just a blah experience anyway when you are facing the backside, “oh the fun is almost over and have to go back home” which is always rather anticlimactic.  i want to continue breathing the different air as if i’m a dog on a walk.  i want to have more of the happy moments.  but i am old now, so those don’t happen frequently enough anyway.  so i motivate myself, with the “here we go, let’s get this done so we can go home” routine.  the essence of that entire feeling is quite the paradox, and to show how wrong and backwards i can do things.  why would anyone rush through the last bit of a vacation to get work done so that they can go home where they will start working again soon?  and then to realize that’s precisely what is happening, makes things that ho-hum day and one that i would almost rather just didn’t happen at all.

but it does happen, and there were some great moments.  moments where the maldives apparently asked me to [fill in the blank] in their van and i didn’t even hear the comment.  i had already missed the maldives live set, for having seen hot bodies in motion and red jacket mine back to back, our buddies who we had met back in pendleton.  then red kross, baroness, sol, mark pickerel, superchunk, allen stone, justin townes earle... bumbershoot couldn’t really make a bad lineup even if they picked all the artists at random which i sometimes felt like they did.   beyond that, though, the crowds and the excitement that filled the air was just different on the last day.  while leaving, we saw the same dude with the “i need a fat bitch” sign seemingly less excited.  though he said he had three, “ ne in kirkland, one in kent, one in tukwila.” his sign was smaller and torn up.  there was no purpose trying to cram in some glimpses of joy formidable, deerhunter, trampled by turtles or bassnectar.  the fun sapped out of the weekend.  that moment where i just wanna pass out in the car and wake up at home.  that is what happened exactly. 

i didn’t even feel like drinking beer.  the wrong end of the lollipop is what i was on.  when it all clears up and i can go back and see the pictures, it will have been more worth it. [insert pictures: here is a link to the photo album]  next time i go to such an event, i might prefer to just buy a ticket and don’t try to cram so much in.  do it leisurely, have fun, see an entire set of one band!  maybe that, and skip the last day.  that “oh the long weekend is almost over” feeling has greater magnitude at the end of summer than during weekends like ranchfest when summer is just shifting into drive.  the leftover taste of the leftover season that fills you with the “another one bites the dust” type feeling.  when we went to ranchfest last, we came back complete and satisfied.   that was in the beginning of the season and we were simply tourists having an experience.  this was the end of the season and we were doing work on days that i had already worked hard to be able to get off work. that’s a catch 22.  not quite the best situation, but hey, it was still bumbershoot and i got to go for free. and i saw the breeders up close and personal for a few minutes. it’s hard to complain about that. 

then, it’s time for work (ten straight days of it again), but i have a good job that makes me forget about my volunteer job and the weekend i left behind.  it’s almost like having a double life.  that’s a very good position to be in. nothing to complain about there.