what's in a name?

panda never seems to accept calling me yoshida. she says yoshida is not my real name. i wonder what is real?

it could be debated why we even have last names. this has a lot to do with the particular culture one comes from. many cultures do not give last names, just as many do not have middle names, just as many cultures use several middle names or hyphenated last names. the earliest families that used last names, did so to keep ties to royal families. otherwise, there really was no need for a commoner to have more than one name. it seems to me that we have so many names just to distinguish ourselves from each other. however, the idea of starting off with one given name and then maybe letting the child choose their own identity later in life never seems to be considered. so here i am stuck in a society that deems it important to give me three names from birth.

the first thing i question, why do wives take the husband’s last name?
among the cultures that use last names, it appears to be universal that the patrilineal line is the one that continues. since christian societies seem to use the bible as a guiding force, i decided to check what it had to say. the best i could find was that ephesians chapter 5 says a wife should put her husband’s needs first and a husband should serve his wife. honestly, that is just a load of crap. sure, partners should be one for all and all for one and all, but respecting or serving someone has nothing to do with taking their name. that does nothing to mention that one person should be more represented than the other? so, really, why can’t the husband take the wife’s name or they just keep their own names?

following from that, why do kids get named after their father? if a husband were to take his wife’s name, for instance, then shouldn’t that mean that the child would take the mother’s name as well? in some societies it works that girls take the mother’s name and the boys take the father’s name. that’s better, but not good enough for me. my father and i have many things in common, but it seems due more to dna than life experience. liking the guy as much as i do, i didn’t hardly know him until i was about 12 years old. considering i grew up with my mother, that experience provided much more of my identity. in all fairness, her last name would have been a better representation.

but then, why stop there? maybe my mother would wonder about her own last name. certainly my mother’s mother was my most important grandparent and that’s where i feel most of my familial identity. if i had my druthers, i would’ve been named after her. in that case, i must insist, if i must have a family name, then it shall be myrick.

yet, i would have to continue to question whether my grandmother would’ve wanted the name myrick. she directly descended from the all powerful myrick clan of old wales. but the story as i recall was that her part of the family was sent to america to live in poverty out of sight out of mind. if that were your family story, would you want to be reminded of it every time you signed your name?

therefore, it is not out of disrespect to anyone that i don’t use a family name. i have my own identity that is not very much welsh nor of a father that i didn’t know as a youngster. besides, if i pick one side to be named after, doesn’t it somewhat insult the other? therefore, in blazing my own trails, it’s not that i don’t want a family name, i just prefer the most representative.

several times over the course of life, any person will find themselves despondent and directionless. roses can’t even survive in the spring if there is not someone to help cultivate them. of the handful of people that helped me immensely, one was hiromi yoshida. the first six or eight months of life in japan were among the most miserable of my life. in contrast, the last couple years were some of the best times of my life. a lot of the reason things i survived the cold dark rainy winter was thanks to wonderfulness of the yoshidas. i really feel grateful for that and identify with that time of my life as one of the most significant.

was that time period more crucial than other time periods in my life? did the yoshidas do more for me than any other of my bestest friends? not necessarily. could the same argument from above apply to hiromi also? maybe. i don’t even remember what her maiden name was. but at some point, you just have to pick what feels most inspirational. and that was the situation at that time, regardless of anything else that has happened. i don’t mind recalling that part of my life every time i sign my name.

the answer to what’s in a name is identity.
the answer to mine…
first name: daniel
middle name: tsahaus
last name: yoshida
nickname: kid