rip 2013

patti page (85, jan 1) singer; best selling singer of the 50s; hits like tennessee waltz & how much is that doggie in the window were two of 15 singles that sold over a million copies each.

sammy johns (66, jan 4) folk/country/rock singer from northa carolina; wrote & recorded the oft covered chevy van on his debut album in 1973

burry stander (25, jan 6) South African mountain biker; 2008, 2012 olympian; accident with taxibus while training
myron stolaroff (90, jan 6) born in roswell; masters in engineering from stanford; important researcher of LSD & mescaline in 60s

kent abbott (32, jan 7) guitarist; grade & somehow hollow

tandyn almer (jan 9) singer/songwriter :: wrote "along comes mary"

fitzroy newsome  member of tuskogee airmen

claude nobs (76, jan 10) founder of montreaux jazz festival; “funky claude” in deep purple’s song smoke on the water

precious bryant (73, jan 12) folk, blues musician; released debut album fool me good at the age of 60.

pauline phillips (92, jan 16) started “dear abby” in 1956

nic potter (62, jan 17) bassist; van der graaf generator

claudio leo (40, jan 17) original guitarist for lacuna coil (1994-1998)

steve knight (77, jan 18) keyboardist; mountain

stan musial (92, jan 19) st. louis cardinals hall of fame outfielder, tied for major league record of 24 all-star games (other was willie mays)

earl weaver (82, jan 19) baltimore orioles hall of fame manager; won 1970 world series

hank taylor (77, jan 24) pitcher for the kansas city a's, apparently. a case for wikipedia ridiculousness.

leroy “sugarfoot” bonner (70, jan 26) lead singer, guitarist for the ohio players

sally starr (90, jan 27) radio, stage & film actress
george higgs (82, jan 29) north carolina-piedmont bluesman :: released debut album in 2001, taboro blues (living magazine's album of the year)
ann rabson (67, jan 30) blues singer 

patty andrews (94, january 30) last surviving member of the andrews sisters, an oft-imitated vocal group of the 1940s

ed koch (88, feb 1) three term mayor of nyc 1978-1989; lost a fourth-term election to nyc's first black mayor david dinkins following the controversial death of yusef hawkins

chris kyle (38, feb 2) navy seal; most lethal sniper in military history; killed at a gun range in texas

pepper paire (88, feb 2) catcher, infielder in all american girls professional baseball league; fourth all time in runs batted in
b.h. born (80, feb 3) center for kansas jayhawks 1951-54; jersey #23 retired in 1992; 1953 NCAA tournament most outstanding player; 22nd overall draft pick by fort wayne pistons in 1954; helped jayhawks recruit wilt chamberlain
james muri (94, feb 3) american fighter pilot at midway in wwii
reg pressley (74, feb 4) singer for the troggs; "wild thing", "love is all around"

donald byrd (80, feb 4) jazz trumpet legend; started as a sideman for art blakey & the jazz messengers in the 1950s, going on to work with every major player like coltrane, monk, mobley, silver, hancock and then forming his own blackbyrds. he merged jazz with hip hop with a tribe called quest and others, including a major role on guru's jazzmatazz volume one and two.






paul tanner (95, feb 5) went from playing in a strip joint to glenn miller's orchestra :: invented electric-thermin, which he played on the beach boys "good vibrations"
john cook (40, feb 9) key developer of louisville’s 90s punk scene :: bassist for post-hardcore band crain
w. watts biggers (85, feb 10) novelist; creator of underdog
kevin peek (66, feb 11) guitarist for australian prog rock band sky
rick huxley (72, feb 11) bassist for the dave clark five
yuko tojo (73, feb 13) japanese nationalist activist; granddaughter of hideki tojo
kazuo tsunoda (94, feb 14) ace fighter pilot for japanese imperial navy at guadalcanal & solomon islands
tim dog (46, feb 14) rapper with krs-one & ultramagnetics; recorded "fuck compton"
mark kamins (57, feb 14) producer, dj; brought then-girlfriend madonna to the attention of sire records
shadow morton (72, feb 14) record producer, songwriter; wrote "(remember) walking in the sand", "leader of the pack", produced janis ian's society's child

mary brave bird (58, feb 14) a.i.m. member present at wounded knee 1973; writer of lakota woman, later made into a film










tony sheridan (72, feb 16) early member of the beatles, sang on "my bonnie" (only non-beatle to appear as lead singer on a beatles chart single)
mike westhues (64, feb 17) american/finnish singer songwriter; new 2013 album "alder hill"
mindy mccready (37, feb 17) country singer; nearly murdered by ex-husband; had long-term affair with roger clemens
cleotha staples (78, feb 17) the eldest of the staples singers
damon harris (62, feb 18) at age 20, took over for eddie kendricks in the temptations in 1972

kevin ayers (68, feb 18) founder of 1960s psych band soft machine










sophie kurys (87, feb 17) aka the flint flash; second baseman for the racine belles; she was the all time leader in stolen bases until rickey henderson broke her record; still the single season record holder with 201 in 203 attempts









magic slim (75, feb 21) blues singer, guitarist
dangerous dan toler (65, feb 25) guitarist for allman brothers on enlightened rogues, reach for the sky & brothers of the road albums & the dickey betts albums dickey betts & great southern & atlanta's burning down.
c everett koop (96, feb 25) former us surgeon general
richard street (feb 27) singer with the distants, the monitors & finally the temptations :: remained with the motown group for 20 years
mido macia (27, feb 27) south african taxi driver, dragged to death by police

moon mullen (96, feb 28) reserve guard for the first ncaa champion university of oregon webfoots in 1939; second baseman for philadephia blue jays/phillies in 1944; in the minors for portland beavers, seattle rainers, boise pilots; manager for boise pilots in 1950; baseball coach and teachers at olympia high school; minor leagues stats






mr. magic (44, mar 1) 90s rapper on master p's no limit record label
jewel akens (79, mar 1) vocalist "the birds & the bees"
bobby rogers (73, mar 3) born on same day in same hospital as smokey robinson :: met smokey at age 15, becoming a singer in the miracles (first group signed to motown) :: choreographed miracles stage shows


alvin lee (68, mar 6) singer/guitarist for ten years after; lee's performance at woodstock with ten years after made him an international star; formed later supergroup with myron lefevre that released on the road to freedom featuring george harrison, ron wood, steve winwood & others







 






stompin' tom connors (77, mar 6) canadian folk singer; "the hockey song"
peter banks (65, mar 7) prog rock pioneer :: original guitarist for syn & yes
claude king (90, mar 7) 1960s country singer, part of lousiana hayride; wrote "wolverton mountain"

clive burr (56, mar 12) first drummer for iron maiden, appeared on "iron maiden" "killers" "maiden japan" & "number of the beast" :: so the iconic drumbeats heard on "running free", "the prisoner", "run to the hills" & others are the expertise of mr. burr; cowrote "gangland" & "total eclipse"; drummer for trust on "trust iv"  & "man's trap"; part of supergroup called gogmanog released one e.p. "i will be there"









jack greene (83, mar 15) 1960s country singer, gained fame as member of ernest tubb's band
hardrock gunter (88, march 15) rockabilly singer/songwriter; wrote "rocket 88" - the first rnr song?? - "birmingham bounce" & "sixty minute man"

bobby smith (76, march 16) lead singer of the spinners

jason molina (39, march 16) singer/songwriter, founder of magnolia electric co.

harry reems (65, march 19) star of deep throat

david parland (42, march 19) founding guitarist for dark funeral

floyd mcrae (80, march 19) singer & last surviving member of doo-wop group the chords :: famous for “sh-boom”

chinua achebe (82, march 21) nigerian poet & author :: “things fall apart”

larry robinson (64, march 23) 1960s americana singer/songwriter with dorados and things to come :: died from injuries in a music store mugging http://www.nodepression.com/profiles/blogs/the-death-of-larry-robinson-tragedy-in-temecula

deke richards (68, march 24) songwriter/producer in the clan and the corporation with berry gordy :: wrote lots of motown classics
paul williams (64, march 27) founder of crawdaddy, first rnr magazine

gordon stoker (88, march 27) primary member of the vocal group the jordanaires, backing singers for elvis presley 1956-1972 :: also backed up patsy cline, johnny cash, ween, dolly parton…

hugh mccracken (71, march 28) session guitarist, arranger, producer :: performed on many legendary recordings, including some rabble rouser staples like paul simon’s “still crazy…(see phil ramone below)” :: also john & yoko’s last two albums, eugene mcdaniel’s outlaw, paul mccartney’s ram & other stuff by steely dan, roberta flack, marlena shaw…

art malone (76, march 28) drag racer :: AHRA hall of famer & 1963 top fuel champion :: first person to top 180 mph at daytona :: died from injuries in a 2010 air-boat collision

robert ziljian (89, march 28) the founder of Sabian Cymbal Company, one of music's most popular brands.  Born into the family that began making cymbals in Istanbul in 1633, Zildian went into the family business at a very young age.  At almost 400 years old, the Avedis Zildjian Company is one of the oldest companies in the world.  In 1929, the business moved to America, and in 1981 - after a family dispute - Robert broke away and formed the Sabian Cymbal Company.  The two cymbal makers have coexisted yet remained rivals ever since.  Sabian Cymbals have been used by many of the greatest drummers in rock history.  Robert Zildian died of cancer on March 28, 2013.  He was 89.   - from themusicsover

phil ramone (72, march 30) classically trained violinist at julliard :: opened a recording studio in new york when he was still a teenager :: business grew into the A&R record label, with him becoming a legendary producer :: won 14 of the 33 grammy awards he was nominated for, most importantly on the rabble rouser staple, “still crazy after all these years” :: recorded marilyn’s happy birthday mr. president :: produced the first album ever to be released on a compact disc, when & what do you guess it was?

bob turley (82, march 30) won the 1958 cy young, world series mvp and hickock belt awards

jack pardee (76, april 1) ncaa hall of fame coach of the houston cougars & houston oilers
roy cox (64, april 2) bassist for bubble puppy ("hot smoke & sassafrass"), blues knights, nyc outlaws
chris bailey (62, april 3) late 70s, early 80s bassist for the angels
harry j (67, april 3) jamaican reggae producer

roger ebert (70, april 4) film critic for chicago sun-times, first film critic to win pulitzer prize for criticism

andy johns (61, april 7) an English record producer and engineer whose resume reads like an encyclopedia of rock. Still in his teens, Johns hit the ground running working as Eddie Kramer's second engineer on recordings by the likes of Jimi Hendrix. Over the next four decades, Johns left his mark on such iconic albums as Led Zeppelin's IV, Physical Graffiti, and Houses Of The Holy;  the Rolling Stones' Sticky Fingers, Exile On Main St., and Goat's Head Soup; Free's Highway; and  Television's Marquee Moon.  He also produced or engineered albums for Van Halen, Humble Pie, Ron Wood, L.A. Guns, Cinderella, Chickenfoot, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, Steve Miller, Mott The Hoople, Eric Clapton, Joni Mitchell, and many more.  Albums on which he worked have reportedly sold more than 160 million copies in all.  He was the younger brother of the equally impressive producer and engineer, Glyn Johns.  - from themusicsover.com


neil smith (60, april 7) short term bassist for ac/dc & rose tattoo 
annette funicello (70, april 8) mousketeer on mickey mouse club; 60s teen pop singer
margaret thatcher (87, april 8) former primer minister of great britain; as kid yoshida's fav female british band the smears say, "margaret thatcher is NOT a feminist icon. don't care what anybody says."

jimmy dawkins (76, april 10) chicago blues great; writer for living blues magazine

chi cheng (43, april 13) original bassist for nu metla band deftones; struggled to stay healthy after 2008 automobile crash
vincent montana jr. (85, april 13) percussionist, bandleader; former mfsb member;  founder of salsoul orchestra, "tangerine" "salsoul hustle" "Nine N Nasty"; worked also with harold melvin & the bluenotes, o'jays, johnny mathis, jackson 5 & others...
george jackson (68, april 14) soul singer; wrote "one bad apple" (#1 for the osmonds) & "old time rock & rol" classic rock staple by bob seger & others by ike & tina, james brown, zz hill ...
scott miller (53, april 15) founder & singer of game theory ("lolita nation" 1987)
rita macneil (68, april 16) canadian folk/country singer; spied on by rcmp for communist ties because of her protest singing for women's rights; host of rita & friends CBC tv show
jim mccandless (68, april 16) chicago singer/songwriter; "kareem & me"
pat summerall (82, april 16) former nfl placekicker; hall of fame super bowl announcer
george beverly shaw (104, april 16) "america's beloved gospel singer"; his performances on the billy graham show helped skyrocket billy graham to stardom
situ chan (25, april 17) hong kong pop singer; car crash
yngve moe (55, april 18) bassist dance with a stranger; drowning

storm thorgerson (69, april 18) graphic designer; designed "dark side of the moon" album cover & most of  the pink floyd catalog, black sabbath, the cult, megadeth, cranberries, phish & others.

cordell mosson (60, april 18) bassist, took over for bootsy in parliament-funkadelic; teenage band was united soul featuring garry shider, produced by george clinton















alicia gladden (27, april 19) former florida state seminole basketball player; car crash

allan arbus (95, april 19) dr. sidney freeman on m*a*s*h*
danny kriveli (april 24) drummer for krokus on "heart attack"

chrissy amphlett (53, april 21) australian new wave singer the divinyls; "i touch myself"

margaret groening (94, april 22) mother of matt groening; inspiration for marge simpson

richie havens (72, april 22) folk singer/guitarist; opening performer at woodstock; “freedom” “high flying bird”
james "creeper" vasquez (58, april 23) drummer

george jones (81, april 26) the possum; george was country when country wasn't cool, and still country after country wasn't cool again. he was one time married to tammy wynette.  he was mentioned in 3 of the songs on hank III's 2006 album "straight to hell". waylon jennings once said that "if we could all sound like we wanted to, we'd all sound like george jones."

brad lesley (54, april 27) "the animal" played for cincinnati & milwaukee in the early 80s, and a couple successful seasons in baseball & television in japan

chris “mack daddy” kelly (34, may 1) the kid sensation mack daddy made ya jump, jump while wearing his clothes backwards; drug overdose

jeff hanneman (48, may 2)  a lot of times this endeavor becomes a list of names, some of which affect us more than others.  hanneman is one of the bigger losses. jeff was the unheralded backbone of the most notorious band of the rabble rouser's youth. his punk influence combined with kerry king to make the fiercest cross over to thrash metal ever.  jeff's fascination with war memorabilia inspired some of the more intense war songs ever written. hanneman was solely responsible for about half of slayer's songs, including "angel of death" "raining blood" "die by the sword" "behind the crooked cross" "the antichrist" "praise of death" & more... with dave lombardo also not drumming for the band due to contract disputes, slayer chugs on with kerry king & tom araya still fronting the band, but one of the ten best bands of all time is a shell of the past now.  r.i.p to jeff hanneman!

sid selvidge (69, may 2)  guitarist, vocalist; mud boy & the neutrons

cedric brooks (70, may 3) jazz saxophonist; member of the 2000s era skatalites, mystic revolution of rastafari, the light of saba

malcolm shabazz (28, may 9)  grandson of malcolm x; beaten to death in mexico

grayson minney (28, may 11) lead singer columbia fields; car crash

joyce brothers (85, may 13)
dick trickle (71, may 16) nascar driver
alan o'day (72, may 17) singer "undercover angel"
dave mcmillan (31, may 18) former defensive end for cleveland browns
curley myers (93, may 19) guitar & banjo for captain stubby & the buccaneers; "roto rooter" song
phil buerstatte (46, may 19) drummer for white zombie
ray manzarek (74, may 20) keybordist for the doors
trevor bolder (52, may 21) drummer for uriah heep & david bowie
john "mule" miles (90, may 24) original member of tuskogee arimen; third baseman for chicago american giants; according to wikipedia, he hit a home run in 11 straight games  
marshall lytle (79, may 25) bassist for bill haley & his comets
clarence burke, jr. (62, may 26) singer for the five stairsteps; "o-o-o child"
marvin junior (77, may 29) lead singer of the dells; "oh what a night"
mulgrew miller (57, may 29) jazz pianist
jean stapleton (90, may 31)  played edith bunker on archie bunker

joey covington (67, june 4) drummer for hot tuna, jefferson airplane (69-72), fat fandango; car crash
arturo vega (65, june 8) graphic designer; created the hey ho, let's go seal and logo for the ramones; later becamce the ramones historian
darondo (67, june 9) sf funk & soul singer of the 70s; 1973 hit "didn't i"
jason leffler (37, june 12) nascar & indycar driver; injuries sustained in a racing collision
johnny smith (90, june 12) cool jazz guitarist of 1950s & 1960s; recorded the album "moonlight in vermont" feat. chet atkins; wrote the song "walk, don't run"
alastair donaldson: aka william mysterious (58, june 18) bassist for the rezillos



slim whitman (90, june 19) country guitarist, singer, songwriter; famous for his yodeling; george harrison & mischael jackson were huge whitman fans; played on the radio while he was stationed in the navy during wwII, whitman was heard by col. tom parker (manager of elvis); in 1948, whitman was given an RCA recording contract; hit UK #1 with "rose marie" in 1955, song stayed #1 for 11 weeks which was a record until bryan adams "cuts like a knife" in 1991. whitman's 1979 infomercial was considered the most successful ever.



lil snupe (18, june 20) rapper; shot
genaro garcia (35, june 21) mexican boxer; shot
allan simonsen (34, june 22) danish car racer; crash in 24 hours of le mans
kevin mcdade (june 22) bassist for behold! the monlith


bobby blue bland (83, june 23) "the lion of the blues"; "the frank sinatra of the blues"; #44 on the rolling stone list of best singers of all time; at a young age in memphis, joined the beale streetes along with bb king, johnny ace & others; here is a youtube video of bobby bland & bb king playing "the thrill is gone"




alan meyers (45, june 24) devo drummer from 1976-1986; brain tumor
mark fischer (66, june 25) british architect developed tour stages for pink floyd (the wall), rolling stones (steel wheels & voodoo lounge), u2 (360) and more for tina turner, madonna, peter gabriel, lady gag, etc.

kimberly mccarthy (52, june 26) 500th person executed by the state of texas since 1976
justin miller (35, june 26) former major league pitcher that was the cause of the "miller rule" in which MLB made him wear long sleeves due to hitters complaining of the distraction from his sleeve tattoos.

jim kelly (67, june 29) martial artist & actor; "enter the dragon" and some more 70s action films

stellar albums from spring!

stellar albums from spring 2013!

jazz

redtenbacher’s funkestra – the cooker

jaimeo brown – transcendence

singing / noodling

jerry fels & the jerry fels – and light said, let there be god

various artists – music is you: john denver tribute cd

jonathan presents: a perfect storm 

kurt vile – walkin on a pretty daze 

mal blum – tempest in a teacup        

ambient / grunge / psychedelia

radiation city – animals in the median      (they just get better & better)

rose windows – the sun dogs 

black angels – indigo meadow          (modern psychedelia)

bleached – ride your heart              

tartufi – these factory days                (from a band you know well)

the heligoats – back to the ache      

milk music – cruise your illusion        (modern fuzz grunge)

human eye – into unknown               (motor city stoner rock)

firefriend – witch tales                      (brazilian stoner rock)
orchid – mouths of madness

savages – silence yourself                 (80s style goth picks up where siouxie & the banhees left off)

eternal tapestry – untitled cdr          (a single track of psych)

rippin

browntown ep                                     (new corvallis band)

suicidal tendencies – 13                    (serious funk from thrash legends!)

iggy & the stooges – ready to die      (some filler, but still...godfather of punk returns with the stooges)

pissed jeans – honeys                        (sub pop means business on this heavy duty rocker)

off with their heads – home               (hc legends getting a bit more metal)

jello biafra & the guantanamo school of medicine – white people & the damage done

sun angle – diamond junk

css - planta 

Dear IRS

Dear IRS

Thank you for the letter to inform me that I owe you an additional $120.69.  Your letter states that if I disagree I should notify you.  Obviously, I disagree.  Otherwise I would have paid the extra $120.69 in the first place.  This is much like the fact that the state of Oregon only sent me a check for $69 instead of $200-something that I expected as a refund.  Had they sent me what they should have, I could now be sending you what you want. But they did not.  Maybe you can ask them to send it to you and we will call it good.

I could probably redo all the paperwork to show you why I believe I don’t owe you any more money, but that seems like a futile waste of time.  I already did the paper work once and this was the result.  I highly doubt that anything I have to say on the matter will persuade you otherwise, much like the fact that I can’t persuade the government to spend the money I pay in taxes toward reasonable ends.  

The one thing I can tell you that you shouldn’t be able to refute is that a three-week notice is not really sufficient to pay off that amount.  See, another branch of the government, which lends money to poor people and students, has me in a cesspool of debt which continues to rise daily.  And, well, you have the records of how much money I made last year…   What if someone asked you to give all the money you make to fund ridiculous, overinflated enterprises that you don’t approve of?   You’re lucky I pay what I do.  Here is a little bit.  Hope this is satisfactory.  And when I have some extra change I will be sure to send that your way as well. 

Goodbye,

kid yoshida

catch 22 :: week 1

for the month of june, i am reading catch-22.  the timeline is a little off. due to the students finishing the broadcasting class, i missed the first week entirely. then due to the paradoxical nature of the arguments, tongue twisters and other complexities of this deep novel, 20 pages in half an hour is not very feasible. thus, i will read past 9:00 (as late as 9:30) on most days and will carry over in july. hopefully finish up before KEOL fest.  here is a look back at the first week to get caught up. 

Paradox built upon paradox is the novel of Catch 22.  It is a satire combining the dehumanization of war with a survival impulse.  The book carries paradoxical arguments to the extreme, with rediculous conclusions.  The main point of the novel is to show what happens when the mission of war is determined by people who are not fighting the war.  It is all about waqr and bureacracy. Most frustratingly for everyone involved is the colonal raising of the number of required missions every time the troops get close to finishing their tour of duty. The irony is that the generals are only concerned with getting promotions, while the troops are only concerned with getting home. Neither side appears to care with political or ethical matters.  The text is a disjointed maze of characters and events and tongue twisters.  I cannot explain it adequately, but below is a chapter by chapter review of what was read last week.

Chapter 1  "The Texan"
    Yossarian and Dunbar are faking sickness to remain hospitalized for the duration of the war.  Or at least that was their plan until the Texan is admitted.  The Texan is a very normal fellow, who drives everyone crazy and out of the hospital, back to war.

Chapter 2  "Clevinger"   

    Clevinger is a captain in Yossarian's squadron, who get frustrated with Yossarian’s argument that people are trying to kill him. Yossarian’s theory is that people are trying to kill him because people that don't know him are shooting cannons at his plane. Clevinger thinks Yossarian is crazy because they're trying to kill everyone, but Yossarian is not convinced.    After a fantastic meal prepared by Milo, Yossarian goes to Doc Danneka, who tells Yossairan the colonel wants 50 missions for discharge.  Yossarian, however, only has 44 misions.

Chapter 3 "Havermeyer"
    Yossarian's tentmate Orr obsesses with mechanical engineering devices that he constructs in their tent, which puts Yossarian consistently on edge that he will blow something up.  Orr further annoys Yossarian with stories about why he walked around with crab apples in his cheeks and a standoff ensues.  Orr had been beat over the head by Nately's whore's kid sister creating a raging scene in a whorehouse that Yossarian never understood, but dreaded having to be subjected to the memory of such tomfoolery.       General Dreedle was annoyed by General Pekem's orders, such as having all the tents in all the European theatre face the Washington Monument.  Ex-PFC Wintergreen, who is in charge of mail, throws away all correspondence by General Pekem, which makes General Dreedle succeed in pushing his agenda, which invariably causes the number of missions to be raised to 50 to qualify for discharge.
     Yossarian is now living beside a dead man who has his gun stolen by Havermeyer.  Havermeyer then uses the gun to shoot field mice in his tent at night. If that is not irritating enough to the men, Havermeyer also leads his formations straight and narrow, giving German gunners all the time necessary to blow them out of the sky.  Havermeyer would never return from a mission until absolutely sure the target had been hit and Yossarian did not care at all whether any targets had been hit.  The chapter ends with Hungry Joe getting pissed at Havermeyer for shooting the mice and charges his tent in the middle of the night all guns blazing, bringing the entire thing down with Hungry Joe psychotically babbling as they pull him from a muddied mess.

Chapter 4 "Doc Daneeka"
    Hungry Joe is crazy, so Yossarian decides to help him out, but Hungry Joe won’t listen because he thinks Yossarian is crazy.  Doc Daneeka naturally has worse problems than either of them, due to losing his lucrative medical practice when drafted into the war.     Yossarian disrupts meetings by asking unanswerable questions because he is a collector of good questions. This causes Colonel Cathcart and Lieutenant Colonel Korn to make a rule that the only people who could ask questions were the people who never did.  They also approve a skeet-shooting range at which Yossarian resigns himself to failure - of skeet shooting and gambling. He laments he will never be able to hit a target or make money.  Dunbar, however, shoots skeet frequently because he hates it and believes that boring or uncomfortable activities makes time pass slower, thereby lengthening his life. Then, ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen starts a panic among the officers in Rome by telephoning them and saying only, “T. S. Eliot.”  Although he intends it as a response to a general memo from a colonel saying that it would be hard to name a poet who makes any money, General Peckem assumes that it constitute a coded message and suffers great anxiety as a result.

Chpater 5 "Chief White Halfoat"
    Doc Daneeka shares his tent with an alcoholic Native American named Chief White Halfoat. The chief discusses his family's divinity with Yossarian.  A major oil deposit happened to be located everywhere his family settled, such that they never could get any sleep for being constantly kicked off their land by prospectors. It got so bad that oil companies would kick them off everytime they decided to settle on the land and even waited for them at every turn, beckoning them to settle on any given piece of land and kick them off before they even stopped.      This chapter is the genesis of the title, the biggest conundrum the entire book has to offer.  Catch 22 specifies that a concern for one’s own safety is the process of a rational mind.  Yossarian is mostly concerned with being grounded and getting out of the war. He asks Doc if being crazy is enough reason. It would be enough reason and Yossarian certainly is crazy.  However, there is a rule that in order to be grounded for insanity a pilot must first ask to be grounded. But if a pilot asks to be grounded they must be sane, because it is quite rational to not want to fly bombing missions. Yossarian is impressed and confused at the dilemma, and decides to believe Doc Daneeka.      Another catch is that Yossarian detests his position in the nose of the plane. He is separated from the escape hatch by a passage just wide enough for him to squeeze through, but not with his parachute. Yossarian is always terrified for his life, and the chapter ends with him pleading with the pilot, McWatt, to avoid antiaircraft fire remembering the mission where Snowden died.

Chapter 6 "Hungry Joe"     

      Hungry Joe completes his fifty missions and is awaiting orders to be sent home. But Hungry Joe can't get anything right, not even taking pictures of girls, though he used to be a photographer for Life magazine.  Hungry Joe always accepts the fact that he has to return to duty.  He hears noises in his head and screams in his sleep all night keeping everyone else awake, while denying he has nightmares. Hungry Joe is actually most at ease when things are going worst.
     Orr loses to Appleby in a game of ping pong and then attacks him. A bigger fight breaks out, in which Chief White Halfoat punches Colonel Moodus in the nose. General Dreedle is happy because Colonel Moodus is his cousin-in-law that he can’t stand, so he has Chief While Halfoat punch Moodus in the nose repeatedly.  Chief White Halfoat then threatens his tentmate, Flume, that he will slit his throat from ear to ear.  It’s all just a drunken joke, but Flume is scared into staying awake all night, or at least he dreams he is awake.      Yossarian asks ex-PFC Wintergreen if it is correct that only forty missions are required to satisfy the Twenty-seventh Air Force Headquarters (ten less than Colonel Cathcart requires). Yossarian is thrilled that is true, because he is finished and can go home. However, Wintergreen springs another catch on him, that anyone must do whatever one's commanding officer tells him, no matter what the Air Force says. Furthermore, Yossarian is not pleased to learn that that the colonel has now raised the number of required missions to fifty-five.

Chapter 7 "McWatt"

     McWatt, Yossarian's pilot, is the craziest man in Pianosa because he is perfectly sane and still does not mind the war.  The chapter, however, focuses more on how Milo, the mess hall officer, uses McWatt as a go-between to a fruit trading scheme that will allow him to retain a profit margin even with his strict morals.      

      Milo always wants to serve the best meals and he is duly upset to find out that Colonel Snark put soap in the men's sweet potatoes to prove that they have no sense of taste.  Even though the men get diarrhea, they still ask for more potatoes.  Milo finds out Doc Daneeka has written a letter saying Yossarian should get all the fruit he asks for because he has a liver condition.  Milo is worried about losing profits on his fruit and also finds out that Yossarian doesn't actually have a liver condition.  Instead of eating the fruit, Yossarian gives it to anybody who wants it.  Milo has a strict set of morals, but at the same time his morals require him to charge the highest prices possible. But he will not borrow a package of pitted dates from the mess hall because they're government property.  So, he gets around this by borrowing the same package of pitted dates from Yossarian and trades it as McWatt's interest to a thief with a sweet tooth who stole McWatt's bed sheet from him that morning and thereby manages get both the dates and bed sheet back. Milo keeps a quarter of the bed sheet "for the syndicate" and gives half the bed sheet back to McWatt and a quarter of it to Yossarian along with the dates.  Milo also has no issues with taking goods by force from a foreign trader who doesn't speak English.

Chapter 8 "Lieutenant Scheisskopf"
     Lieutenant Scheisskopf is obsessed with winning parade competitions every weekend for silly prizes. He is so busy preparing for the parades that he doesn't notice his wife cheating on him with any man who wants her, including Yossarian, who sleeps with her every week, even though he's in love her friend Doris Duz. When Doris does not like him, Yossarian takes his frustration out by having sex with Mrs. Scheisskopf.       

     Lieutenant Scheisskopf appoints his own officers instead of letting the men elect them, much to Clevinger's chagrin. Clevinger is a smart Harvard graduate, but has no courage. He and Yossarian had trained together in cadet school.  Against Yossarian's advice, Clevinger suggests that Scheisskopf let his men elect their own officers. Scheisskopf takes the advice and starts winning all the parades.  He then accuses Clevinger of conspiracy to overthrow the officers and puts him on trial before the Action Board, which is dominated by an irrational, bloated colonel who constantly threatens to tear Clevinger limb from limb.  The Action Board makes Clevinger say contradictory things and he is sentenced to fifty-seven tours as punishment.  There is something to the story about fear and hatred from him own countrymen that are creating more of a war on him than the enemy.

Chapter 9  "Major Major Major Major"

      Major Major has no friends because of his strange name. And the story behind it was just as strange with his father playing a joke on his mother, which kills his mother.  Major Major believed his name was Caleb Major and finding out his real name devastates him and alienates him from all his friends.  In school, he wanted to major in English history, but is tormented because it is not American History, so he switches to American Literature.  Major Major is very obedient, always doing what people tell him. Everyone hates him for being good and virtuous and they all assume he has become successful because he looks like Henry Fonda. In fact, they think he is successful because other people actually think he is Henry Fonda.  However, it was an IBM machine with a sense of humor that promotes him to the status of Major.
     When Major Major is shipped overseas, his life suddenly improves. He becomes accepted by other men while playing basketball.  Then, Colonel Cathcart ruins his life further by promoting Major Major to squadron commander. Everyone resents Major Major for his elevated rank. They stop speaking to him and beat him to a bloody pulp while he is wearing a disguise, but he does not take the disguise off because he doesn’t want the men to know that he knows that they are beating their squadron commander.         

       Major Major alleviates his boredom of paperwork by signing "Washington Irving." This stops the cycle of papers comtinually coming back to him for signatures. Two C.I.D. men come looking for Washington Irving and Major Major lies to both of them and they suspect each other of being Washington Irving.       Major Major gives all his subordinates orders that he will see nobody in his office or that no one will ever see him, period, except Yossarian who manages to get an interview with him by literally pouncing on him to request being sent home. The chapter ends with Major Major rationalizing why he must not ever tell anyone there is nothing he can do, because it implies that he would do something if he could, until he finally tells Yossarian there is nothing he can do to help.

dear touring musicians

if you like playing to a crowd, then do not stop in la grande.  unless you are taylor flipping swift, no one here is going to come see you.

the other day an argument came up on the blue social networking site about such few people caring about live music in la grande and said that no one comes EVER. the post was removed by the next day because it was "attracting too much drama" and potentially alienating future patrons.  it was said that the networking site "isn't good for that sort of thing."  now, if that isn't what a networking site is for, then i have no idea what the networking site is good for.  digressing from the point of irrelevance, to the very relevant matter of audiences in la grande...

two main points to be made here.

one is that people continually don't show up to live music events.  it doesn't really matter what the excuse is, there still is always an excuse.  it is not supposed to be taken personally.  it was intended to be a blanket statement that people in la grande don't care about live music. ie, that live music is not a big priority for most residents. no matter when the event is, whether other events are going on or not, turnout is poor.  even the bigger musicians that play in la grande, do so to increasingly smaller crowds.  if it's a local band, people come out to see their friends.  hell, even most of the local bands don't stay around to watch the other bands, unless, there again, a certain relationship exists.  that to me says that people are not interested in seeing the music, but socializing.  when half the audience in the venue gets up to leave when the band starts to play, that is a further indication that no one wants to hear the music.  i challenge anyone to find me one example within the last two years of a traveling musician bringing in anything close to 50 people without the aide of a local band.  good luck finding one in which 20 people showed up.

i'm not saying that people in la grande don't like live music.  they'll pay $100s to go see concerts in tri-cities, boise, portland or anywhere else, but trying getting anyone to a free concert or a $5 or $10 concert in la grande is a ridiculous proposition.  that again suggests something in the way of a popularity contest, rather than interest in live music.  pendleton doesn't seem to have this problem.  on a friday night that people in la grande had "so much going on," one person showed up to the strangled darlings concert (which was advertised in every media outlet in town). contrast to the next night, graduation saturday in pendleton, forty-eight people showed up to see red jacket mine (a concert that was only advertised by the venue itself on a random social network post and a poster in the window).  based on that sampling situation, it would seem that the la grande show should draw in more patrons.   however,  48x more people show up in pendleton?   not that people like in la grande don't like strangled darlings.  a picture of them playing in studio at the radio station received at least 10 "likes", just apparently those ten people didn't like them enough to actually go see them.

the second point is that  this is bad for business.  i like going to live music events.  i do it at least once a week here in la grande.  i don't even really care if no one shows up.  in fact, i like it better when no one shows up.  i am not there to see other people.  and i certainly hate to engage anyone in conversation while the music is playing.  but what is bad about this is that when these bands come here and have a bad experience, word will circulate throughout the industry.  i used to hear radiation city talk a lot about wanting to come play here.  they might still say it, but they don't say it that much anymore.  even if the band gets paid well, it doesn't matter.  they would probably rather have an audience than a paycheck, if they had to choose one of the two.  (if they choose the money, then they are a proprietor and not a musician.)  musicians play to be heard.  if no one hears them, did they play?   once the word circulates that la grande sucks for live music, bands will stop playing here, meaning that i won't get to see as much music and have to continue driving to pendleton once a week.  that will get old.  and i eventually will want to just move to a place where music happens.  i have been to concerts in portland, eugene, tacoma, seattle, in which only a few people show up.  however, i am not worried about those places ceasing to have live music.  in la grande, i seriously do worry about that.  the day the music dies here, if it already hasn't, i am done living here.

i am past the point of trying to tell people in la grande that if you don't come support the few musicians who are willing to come here, then you will never see anyone bigger (like the celebrity mentioned above) play here.  all that really needs to be said is that people don't care about the music.  still, the concept is not supposed to be taken personally.  (if you take such things personally, then maybe there is a reason for that?)   the excuses are endless, "i didn't know" "i forgot" "i was so tired" "i had this other thing to do" "stock show weekend is a really bad time"...  the point is that people have other priorities that matter more than live music.  that is not a bad thing.  kids need to be fed and bathed and stuff.  a person can only do so much.   the statement, like the "alienating" post, is simply recognizing that the market for live music sucks. 

the bully blog

two parts to this blog.  a rant about where bullying comes from based on the film, follwed by a little more concise direction about what to do about bullying.

WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

the documentary bully (aka the bully project) takes place mostly in iowa and oklahoma, equally between those two places is where i grew up.  this film is a dead on example of life in the midwest.  the struggles of kids that have no empowerment happens just this way and the film has a real appreciation for the variety of life stories. 

what this film doesn’t spell out, but only inferences, is that the essence of what forms a person’s life experience and personality comes from the home life (or lack thereof).  if parents are alcoholic, abusive, workaholic, or otherwise occupied with things other than taking care of home business, the child pays the biggest price.  fetal alcohol, or any other type of irresponsible things adults can do, creates an unfortunate and undeserving situation for children.  then, mother nature gives premature births, brain damage, or other unfortunate maladies make kids less able to protect themselves be it because of inability to cope, assert themselves, or being smaller in stature.  such kids will be more vulnerable.  they will be targets of being picked on.  then, exacerbating these factors quite often are the economic status of such kids. 

this film doesn’t bring up poverty explicitly, likely because both the bullied as well as the bully come from such backgrounds.  but the cinematography, shows a relative lack of resources, growing up in less than ideal circumstances.  back in the midwest, you’d see the most wicked shit in trailer parks, though my uncle lived in a nice place when i was a kid that i sometimes wish to relive. i’d flip out if i had lived in such high drama places where the cops may as well have lived on site.   even worse, say a child wouldn’t be allowed to have a dog.  or something as seemingly insignificant to a person that takes that kind of thing for granted.  the nature of having a pet or something to take care of and be responsible for has an immeasurable impact on future responsibilities.

the most pertinent aspect that this film does hammer on continually is the role of authorities.  from the outset, a teacher in bully has the audacity to ask the kids “who has a friend?” and then “who has more than one friend?”  what i wanted to know was who asks questions like that?   it’s very clear that people spend too much time wondering what must cause a bully to act as they do, while we forget about the marsh kids are bred in.  the most responsible parties to exacerbating childhood madness are mid-level authorities asserting control, power-tripping fools, rather than having any sort of human connection.  i have definitely seen teachers with less maturity than kids.  

one of the main "authorities", and the film won’t say it because of how taboo the subject, but church is the biggest breeding ground of intolerance.  very few christians actually act christ-like in daily life.  case in point, churches are the last frontier for gay people to have a voice, even though the bible explicitly says to love all people and treat people the way you would want to be treated.  most midwesterners are baptist, which is not exactly the most welcoming of religions.  only in super exceptional cases, like my aunt’s former church that had a comfortable freedom to be yourself, will a church be able to mesh with the outside world.  for the most part, churches are still not overly welcoming of homosexuals.  certain authorities, from cops to preachers to teachers, do a lot to promote hatred, even if unknowingly at times.  and that’s where the film does not miss a beat with “the plastic smiles,” nothing getting done by administration, the frustrated parents… “the atmosphere must be set by the administration. if not, all else fails.”

humans try to find things like cure to cancer?  why does it matter, when we prove over and over that we will find senseless ways to kill ourselves anyway?  if we can’t figure out how to care about other people, it doesn’t really matter if we can live forever.  there is always a darwin award waiting to be given to the most irresponsible person.  and the competition for such awards is so high it is nearly an olympic event.  how do stupidity and shortsightedness help a cause to be compassionate about the future of humanity? 

“you feel that way until you’re in that situation. then it’s personal.”  this can apply to both the bullies and the bullied.  in a "personal" situation in the film, the teacher completely missed by chewing out the kid who got bullied and let the bully off the hook. her rationale of “he was saying he’s sorry!” drew loud laughter from the audience.  obviously if you cater to someone, they are going to act accordingly.  and why should the bullied kid care about an empty apology from either of those fake people?   “they push me so far that i wanna be the bully.”  from every side it makes sense to be a bully.  when administrators feed into it and when it meets a person’s needs, life becomes easy that way.  we need more attention paid to what enables a bully.  erase the playing field, make everyone equal.

of all the extreme acts of desperation the film shows us, the one we think about the least is the bullied becoming the bully in an extreme act of desperation when the girl brought her mother’s gun on the bus.  apparently tired of hearing references to being sexually abused, she goes bat crazy on some dudes.  but then what happens?  for a largely understandable reaction, the teenager gets threatened with 45 felony charges from a hard line cop.  he pushed 22 charges of kidnapping on her!  for gods sake, she isn’t responsible for other kids being on the bus or where they were going or when they could get off the bus.  she wasn’t holding anyone against their will.  she was pissed and going after her perpetrators.  the tension kept building, because the bus drivers and all others “in charge” never did shit!   besides, what is the penalty for scaring someone?  “there is nothing we can do,” the white cop says to the black mother.  that was the repeating scenario: from the principal, to the school board, to the police, “nobody does nothing” except exacerbate problems by turning a blind eye.   “kids will be kids, boys will be boys,” and “it’s complicated and difficult, but…” and the administrators voice trails off.  there is a word for that approach, it’s called apathy.  and apathy has never done anything but give fuel to a fire.

the approach goes so far as to the school pushing the problem back onto the parents.  in almost every case, parents feel more empathy with kids than a school official can, even if the parents and kids don't get along. the parent's in the school meeting at the end are the only ones with enough courage to fire back at the police chief at the first mention of taking a hard stand, when a mother asked why the officers in the school refused to file charges after abuses had taken place.  what response did the police chief have for that?  nothing, of course, while undoubtedly thinking, “yep! fucked that one up.”

instead of solving problems, they keep fucking up.  even after videos from the bus route showed kids being cruel, the administrator said those kids are “good as gold” and thus “politicianed” the parents.  the school must really believe kids are stupid.  kids can read such behavior, body language by school officials. they don't understand the politically correct language that adults spend hours in offices trying to perfect.  they do understand the writing between the lines. and from that are the boundaries they will test.  it’s almost like modeling in reverse.  kids learn not to trust such people and act completely the opposite.  if only it made sense at a young age not to trust advertisers, popularity contests, or other gimmicks.  few kids are lucky to understand that which provides much strength to tackle life’s bullshit.  one poor kid in the film did, left without his friend who had committed suicide, said, “i used to be be a bully…then i decided to be cool with everyone.”  he got it. 

despite the administrators treating kids like they’re stupid, the kids in the film had the wisdom that none of the adults had. they were the ones learning lessons such as “you’re not standing up for yourself, you’re standing up for everyone around you.”   the kids were the ones that not willing to back down, “if i leave, they win,” or “i don’t believe in luck, i believe in hope.”   these kids continually spouted off gandhi-level wisdoms, while the administrators had a steady arsenal of ums and buts.

bully does try to turn out somewhat of a feel good story.  in the end, the main kid finds friends.  and whereas it is true that things do get better, adults so burnt out from the struggle will get excited for any solution that they rely on catchphrases like “oh, it’ll be ok.”  no matter how a statement is meant, it gets taken in as thoughtless and blowing off the kids.  people have to dig deeper for solutions.  of course things will be ok.  things come in cycles, they get better, they get worse.  almost anyone, even a little kid, can understand that.  but that doesn’t make current life any more bearable or help someone wish to keep living a nightmare.  taking care of people is hard work.  like taking care of ourself, we have to keep our guard up.  we also have to keep our guard up when taking care of other people.  and taking care of other people, even those we don’t agree with, is what enables us to be able to, in turn, take care of ourselves.  and since kids aren’t stupid, they understand at least on an intrinsic level.  but as kids get more sick of dealing with bullshit (ie, the cesspool environment they are provided), the less motivated they are to even try to help themselves or others.  by the time they get to be adults and have to deal with the shit that other adults put out, no more mr. nice guy is god damn right!  someone has to be responsible.  as the film said “everything starts with one.”  that “one” starts with the people who have been around the block enough to know how to act, teaching the young ones.  adults, however, are not always that competent.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?

after the film, the moderator, a school counselor, asked, what is the one thing you can do?  the ultimate answers were, “make sure they’re safe” and then “ask them what they need.”  that’s the physical side, like if we wanted to teach a first aid responder course. that’s the “cure” phase of a situation.  as usual, and not intrinsically understood by a capitalist society, the more valuable piece is prevention.

in my experience as a child, life was rough from my earliest memories (about second grade). junior high school was particularly brutal.  i found ways to cope, the easiest might be the fact that i had moved around so much and been in so many different schools, that the bullies didn’t have a lot of time to figure me out.  not that i had time to learn how to build any relationships either, so i was particularly aloof and by most measures not concerned with a damn thing. by high school, things just rolled off my shoulder, particularly after three noteworthy character building and asserting moments during my freshman year.

strength in resiliency was a particularly useful tool learn, as was a stoic feeling toward inevitable bad results.  resiliency helps growth, such as the thinking that, “if i leave, they win.”  it’s not easy to stand up for yourself, as the discussion participants acknowledged, but once you get knocked to the ground, beat up and bones broken enough times, you eventually figure out that if you’re going to get your ass kicked anyway, you might as well get a few punches in on the way down. if nothing else, it builds a certain level of fearlessness.

by high school though, two somewhat taboo things helped me.  things which the church would probably advise agasint as well. 

rock and roll was the main one. this is more than some silly catch phrase. this is a real religion.  some people accused bands like suicidal tendencies for causing teen suicides.  i would accuse them only of being lifesavers by giving me something to relate to.  knowing that other people struggle is the first step to building empowerment and community.  that’s a hard thing to understand when all you see is another fist punching you in the nose.  (and you can use that thought metaphorically from the neighborhood bully all the way to the president of the united states.)  no matter where i was or what i dealt with, most pain was dealt with by the spirit of rock and roll.  then the grooves of funk.  then the swing of jazz.  that was a community.  that was healing.  a person becomes one with nature and free-spirited in more facets of life through music. even plants do.  when one becomes more loose and free-spirited, that also makes it easier to find friends.  so, if you’re looking for help from me to deal with bullying abuse, look up suicidal tendencies.  they’re still kicking bullies asses 30 years after making their first appearance appearance on the repo man soundtrack.  exactly 25 years ago,  their album “how will i laugh tomorrow, when i can’t even smile today” showed me that other people felt the same pain i did.  the band lineup has revolved, but still some bass wrecking, guitar rippin’ guys backing up mike muir.  s.t. is back this year with an album called 13.  it is among their best.  if they do not beome rock and roll hall of famers, they will at least become rabble rouser hall of famers.  listen to them and figure out how to save yourself.  jello biafra and iggy pop are still around with new music to make you feel pissed off, bull-headed and motivated as well. thanks to people like eternal tapestry and tartufi for manning a different post in making life relaxed enough to stop and put all the pieces together to figure things out.  there are many other characters in the rock and roll saga, but you get the idea. tell a bully, “you may hurt me, but i’ll still have more fun because your life will be more miserable the more you hurt me."  that is karma.  don’t think about karma being religious based.  karma happens all over the natural world.  every action comes with a reaction.   “rock and roll will save your save your soul,” is a fact not just a cliché.

the second main thing that helped is probably even more taboo: marijuana and lsd.  by the time i moved to yet another new town to begin high school, i had long lost concern with even trying to make friends.  i knew i fit in even less in a rich kid school than the trashy community i had come from.  after those three main unmentioned events, mentioned above, in my freshman year, i finally found an outlet to cool.  the stoner kids were the most tolerant of any group on campus.  despite the propaganda against it, marijuana is known for many therapeutic uses,  one great one in this situation is how it mellows people out.  and let's not even imagine how comfortable of a relationship you need to feel with a person if you are willing to take acid with them.  by that point, you know you have people you can relate to.  this isn’t to advocate smoking weed or doing drugs.  if there is another way, go that way!  still, marijuana is such a powerful sent-from-above coping mechanism with so many healing properties that i can’t believe it has taken so long for people to become accepting.  the reason it has taken so long is undoubtedly tied to the same reasons that foster bullying: people have continued fascinations with making money, being powerful, living high class and shitting on those that don’t share that vision.  that’s a different and longer argument, but the main point being give someone a different outlet and some good reasons for existence, and the result output is accordingly positive.

but outlets only work if one is provided a key to the lock. what if, as most kids fear, the whole world really is against you?   in my nasty junior high school years, i broke several bones, had many more dark courtyard scuffles, locked inside lockers, stuffed into trash cans, pestered with verbal abuse, bus experiences were as bad as those shown on the film and on and on. but all that was just preparation.  in the end, junior high school was easy to tolerate above the abuse that “adults” deal to each other daily, namely th epolitics of grad school.

the worst bullying i ever dealt with was the psychological bullying from the university of ******.    a woman named ****** ***** ******** was the biggest bully with a flock of sheep that carried out her authority for their own political agendas and job security.  what do you do about that?  i’ll give you an honorary masters degree if you can figure that out.  when you have been bullied by an administration, who do you seek justice from?  the dean?  then the provost?  that was the end of line, because the president sure never would deal with such dirty work.  he was busy digging his own grave with the governor.  and they still can’t believe they had to let their president resign?  loyal to the death, the administration spoke out so approvingly of the jackass.  the first year and a half, school was just more than neccesary.  living in ****** wasn’t nice, but it worked out.  by the last year and a half, i lived in ********** and tolerated life in general much better, but the grad school side of life had begun and was the worst abuse i ever dealt with.  when i went through the greivance process, they denied everything, and everyone backed the bullies up.  even the people within who knew what was going on wouldn’t say anything.  what would their comments have done but get them blacklisted as well?  so, who do you go to?  a lawyer?  i tried contacting at least ten.  not one responded, except for a friend of a friend, who didn’t live in the state and didn’t have any recourse.  what do you do when you’ve risen to the top of the scrap heap and still have no help?   all that remain are a bunch of scars, which have landed you $60,000 in debt, and counting. further into debt everyday i wake up.  on some level, the nightmare doesn’t end. on some level, i can only revert to the resiliency learned long ago, to laugh shit off and crank up the rock and roll.  so you “beat” me.  fuck you!  i’m still alive and screaming at you. 

if the simple path doesn’t get you to the destination, here are a few other odds and ends, general guidelines discussed follwing the film.

- pay attention to the successes in your life and be appreciative of the good things you do have. don’t get a vanity plate that reads “fml” if you drive a mercedes for god’s sake.

- look for places outside the places of stress. not fitting in is even more cool than being cool.  the stoners in high school didn’t fit in, that’s how i related. sucidal tendencies weren’t a mainstream top 40 band that sang love songs, but they were emmensly cooler and more original because of it.

- educate the next person. if you are going to have to struggle, the least you can do is try to alleviate struggles for the next person.  use that experience and self-awareness to benefit other people. test your own personal boudaries and then share that information. help people recognize their own empowerment.

- listen to others and set aside your own personal crap.  the main problem all this goes back to is that no one listens.  people get exhausted with life and walk like a zombie through it.  resist that!  listening is hard work, but it’s the only way to understand.  and listening is not a game of waiting for a break in the conversation to get in the point you want to make. 

everyday of my life, i encounter people that are so consumed with their own problems that they do not share their experience and/or do not adequately listen. this is speaking in general, not just about solving one person’s problem with bullying or anything else.  having compassion and setting aside your own beliefs is obviously difficult.  after so many millinnea, humanity still repeats the same mistakes over and over.  until we are ready to sit down and listen and put others before self, we continue down the path to doomsday.  how many people would be willing to spend and entire day writing a blog about their feelings on a subject?    if we can’t listen to ourselves and take time for issues that matter to us personally, how do we listen to others?